Thursday, May 16, 2013

The Chronicles of a Pastor s Wife!


Many atimes we perceive the life of a Pastors wife to be one of glamour and power.We hardly see
that most times beneath it all they are just everyday women who fell in love with pastors. Sis. Amina
Chiejina first lady of Glory House Int’l Port¬Harcout gives us a peek of what its like to live the life …
of a Pastors wife.


 I never planned to be a Pastor’s wife (PW).
It wasn’t anything I even remotely desired
to be. You see I had grown up as a Clergy
man’s daughter and seeing the demands of
the Ministry made me know it was not the
life for me... or so I thought!

I had met Pastor Ikem two years back on my
very first visit to Glory House; he was the Pastor
in charge of Visitation and first timers and had
given us first timers a small welcome speech at the
reception after the service. After the reception he
came up to me with a broad smile.”Welcome Amina
“he said as he read out the name tags that we were
all given.” Hope we will see you here again”. I
nodded and quickly left to join my friend who was
waiting for me in the corner of the welcome room
.
I see Pastor handsome likes you she teased as I
rushed out. I laughed. Oh please Talatu. , like me
ke? Please o, me and a Pastor that will be the day!
“. You see I wasn’t the conventional “Pastor’s wife
material”, yes, I was born again and spirit filled but
I also had dreadlocks and was a very funky dresser,
anklet and all. Don’t get me wrong even when I
wasn’t born again I never never dressed “ trashy”
but nothing about me said “PW” and besides the
over “spiri” brothers were not my type.

I loved Glory House and the very next week I
signed up for membership class and yes the dashing
Pastor Ikem was my teacher. Talatu was right
Pastor Ikem liked me and even though I didn’t like
the fact that he was ‘nyamiri” and wasn’t exactly
enamoured with the idea of becoming a “Mama
Yard” I knew he was the one. He was smart, funny
and we soon became firm friends. When he asked
me to marry him I wasn’t surprised but I wasn’t
sure I could deal with it. I prayed long and hard,
asked myself several questions and after realizing
how much I did love him I said yes.

One year later we exchanged vows in front of
family and friends at my family Church in Kaduna.
My friends teased my endlessly especially Talatu
“Pastor Mrs.. How art thou? hope you will have
time for we mere mortals” she teased. “ A beg stop
that rubbish my friend ..I’m still me and IK won’t
have it any other way”. Talatu let out a fake gasp
“ ahh! Is it my pastor you’re calling IK like that”.
I knew it wouldn’t be easy being a PW but I had no
idea just how hard it would be! Suddenly I found
people expected me to be super human, I couldn’t
be anonymous, I had to always look perfect no bad
hair days allowed! At a point a friends stopped
inviting me to gatherings with the excuse that
they didn’t know I could attend non-church events.
Suddenly even going to eat grilled fish at a park
was an issue. All I kept hearing was “you can’t do
this, you can’t go here, you can’t wear that….don’t
you know you’re a pastor’s wife?” I knew there was
a price for the oil and I quickly tried to conform and
look the part. However the hardest part of being
a PW was sharing my darling Ikem with so many
others.

How was it that out of all the hours in a week, the
hours I seemed to need him the most where when
he was “ministering” to others? Why couldn’t we
do stuff like other newly- weds did. Even going
out was a chore as some sister (why was it always
sisters) was sure to see him and try to get some
“counsel”. After a few months I found out I was
getting used to him being there for everyone but
me. I guess he felt I would understand but I didn’t.,
Why did he always have to be the hero? Couldn’t he
be more like Pastor Feranmi? Pastor Feranmi was
one of the other Pastors and unlike my husband
he knew that family time was family time. One
afternoon as I cried out to his wife sister Titi I was
surprised to discover that Pastor Feranmi wasn’t
always like that. “Pastor Feran! She exclaimed
“Ah your husband’s own is good, there was a time
for weeks on end I was only seeing Pastor early in
the morning....It’s only God o! With time he learnt
to balance Ministry and Family life and that’s
why you see me enjoying now. In spite of his busy
schedule he tries to make out time for me and the
boys. I think the wake-up call was when the boys
refused to bond with him. My dear just continue
to pray for him and be a pillar of support and with
time he will get it”.

Another aspect of being a PW was that everyone
assumed I had the answers to everything! More
than ever I had to draw strength from The Lord
Holy Spirit, how else would I know how to counsel a
woman whose cheating husband had just battered
her or a young girl dealing with her parent’s
divorce. Then there were those days when I wished
I could just sit down in the pew like everyone else.
Then as I was finally getting the hang of things we
got a call for a meeting with the GO at the HQ
in Lagos. We had no idea why Go wanted to see
us , but our curiosity didn’t last the long as five
minutes into our meeting the GO told us the very
last thing I ever wanted to hear ; we were being
transferred to Port Harcourt to start off a new
parish.... To be contd.


Ps: This story is fictional and inspired by PW Ama and others.

1 comment:

tobenna said...

Nice one Chiomamom.
Made a pretty interesting read...
Looking forward to the next part