Proud Naija Wife and Mother

Enenche Akogwu- Channels Reporter: RIP

2012-01-20T14:27:00.000-08:00

Just heard the sad news of the death of Enenche Akogwu. The young man was killed by suspected Boko Haram followers while investigating the Kano bombings being carried out by the same sect.

The fearless reporter was Channels Kano correspondent and often covered Nigerias troubled northen region. At the time of his death he was 31 years old. I cant imagine how his family and loved ones will feel.

Update: Just a few days ago some of his colleagues gave a moving tribute to him on their breakfast show. One of them (suleyman) was vivsibly upset and berated our Government for not being able to secure the lives of its citizenry. Lets continue to pray for our Nation, that one day our Leaders will get it right.

RIP Enenche Akogwu

Chopsticks!

2012-01-16T13:59:00.001-08:00

Like the average Nigerian, I love Chinese food, so whenever I want to eat out, one of my first choices is Chinese cuisine.

With my love for Chinese cuisine, it was natural that I was happy at the prospect of dinner at Chopsticks. Chopsticks Restaurant is quite popular in the nation’s capital, for its consistent quality and top-notch service.

However, I noticed that on this particular occasion (a friend’s birthday celebration), their service was quite slow. I think the fuel subsidy issue was affecting them, and they were short-staffed.

As starters, we were served vegetable spring rolls and chicken wings, along with chicken corn soup. It tasted really good and we couldn't wait for the main course, but wait we did!

Luckily it was a fun wait, as we were in great company. As we chatted and joked, our main course arrived... an assortment of sauces, chicken with green peppers and cashew nuts, beef in oyster sauce, and prawns in hot sauce. Our waiting was not in vain, as everything tasted superb. The vegetables in the sauces were not overcooked and the flavours all in the right balance.

It’s very easy to see why Chopsticks will never have a dull moment.

Chopsticks is located at No 52 Mississipi St, Maitama, Abuja

VANILLA RESTAURANT

2012-01-16T13:58:00.001-08:00

I have always been a fan of Vanilla Restaurant and its rich, varied menu. It’s one of those restaurants where you can eat anything from local ofada rice to exotic pasta with prawns and cream sauce.

So when I had a chance to dine at their new location in Maitama, I was quite excited! It was a party, so we had quite an extensive range to sample from.

First up were the starters, and we were served with prawn and mayonnaise spring rolls, vegetable spring rolls, sesame chicken and jalapeño poppers. The starters looked good, and we all tucked in. However, the jalapeño poppers tasted like aloe vera rolls. They were... awful! Not nice at all! If anyone has ever tried eating a fresh aloe vera leaf, just imagine that as a starter. Thankfully, the other starters were much nicer, and soon the awful aftertaste of the jalapeño peppers was a distant memory. The starters were served with an array of sauces and some chicken salad. In my opinion, the chicken salad had a bit too much lettuce in it, but otherwise it was fine.

Next up was an array of main courses: grilled pepper chicken, Jamaican jerk chicken and Cantonese chicken. The grilled pepper chicken was ok - it was very well done, making it easy to eat. The jerk chicken was also quite authentic. At a point, I had the grilled chicken mixed up with the jerk, so I was confused for a moment, wondering why the grilled chicken tasted like jerk chicken. I was quite relieved to eventually discover that I had mixed them up, and that the actual jerk chicken did in fact taste like jerk chicken, and the same went for the grilled chicken. In addition to the chicken dishes, there was also prawn curry, which looked delicious. I didn’t have space left to sample the prawn curry, but I would like to believe that it tasted as good as it looked.

All in all, the food was not bad at all, and I quite enjoyed my dining experience. However, I do think I prefer the ambience of Vanilla’s former location. Perhaps it was the lighting, or someone in the room who tripped a couple of times... I don’t know. Also, I wasn’t very pleased that there was no clear-cut distinction between the ladies and the gents. However, this new location has much more potential on the whole, because in addition to the restaurant, it has a lounge as well as an outdoor sitting area.

Kudos to the restaurant manager, who was on her feet throughout the dinner service. One word of advice: please smile more. A pretty manager who smiles at the diners can do no wrong in their eyes.

Vanilla... I wasn’t completely blown away, but I will definitely be back!

Vanilla The Lounge, The Restaurant, The Garden Bar & Grill is located at 28 Pope John Paul II Street, Maitama, Abuja

Leather back sea turtle found on eleko beach !

2012-01-10T16:00:00.000-08:00

Found the link below on linda ikeji's blog.

Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog: Sea Turtle Captured in Eleko Beach...

What makes me sad is that this turtle is an endangered specie, meanwhile people are killing it and planning to eat it. naija!

Power, Politics & Death...

2012-01-10T10:14:00.000-08:00

The above is the title of a captivating book by well respected journalist, Segun Adeniyi who was the last spokesman of the Late Yar' Adua.

Now the late Yardie (my name for the late president) was a good man by all accounts. As one time governor of Katsina State alot of sterling leadership qualities had been attributed to him, however he was quite ill and this impacted negatively on his ability to govern Nigeria.

When Obasanjos 3rd time bid failed he decided to foist on the nation a candidate of his choice in the person of the late Umaru Yar' adua. With a Maurice Iwu at the helm of affairs at INEC one the most rigged elections in Nigeria took place. It was an election riddled with gross misconduct and irregularities that Yardie emerged as President. People cried foul but as a Nation we all felt helpless PDPs "rigging machinery" was in full swing.

I for one couldn't understand why a man who had shown no desire to be President was suddenly being foisted on us (I wrote about this during the yardie campaign).

Anyway, yardie became president and we could all see that he was truly not a bad option as a leader, however his health problem plagued him and whatever legacy he could have left was marred by the secrecy surrounding his health.

Segun Adeniyi book is about the happening during his short lived tenure as President. Segun's book kept me captivated for hours, and I couldn't put it down till i had read all 286 pages of it.

While reading it one thing is clear and that is the fact that Segun had alot of respect for the late President, and its easy to see why. I honestly haven't heard many negative things about yardie, he was a simple man and for me his only sin was accepting such tasking job when he was in such poor health. Some say he wasn't truly interested in becoming President but that turai convinced him to accept it.

When i think back to the yardie years i can honestly say that he seemed to have good plans, but I could never get why he was so anti-ribadu and allowed the loud mouth Aondakaa get away with so much rubbish. Segun, shed some light on this in chapter 2 titled "Corruption and the Ibori saga" where he wrote

"The president also complained to me about how the EFCC was acting like it was above the law, recalling an incident where their operatives came to Katsina to arrest local government chairmen in what he described as a Gestapo-like operation.....but the constant factor is that Ribadu dismissed Yar'adua to his face, saying that he was unqualified for the office of president. It was an insult Yar'adua apparently forgot. Nor forgave".

The book clarifies alot of misconceptions about the yar'adua regime and also confirms some suspicions widely held by Nigerians. It seems like a very honest and sincere account of what went on at the presidential villa.

All in all its a great book and for writing this Segun Adeniyi is my HERO OF THE MONTH.

Tiwa Savage!

2011-12-06T02:46:00.000-08:00

Now, I love nigerian talent. I mean with artistes like p square, d banj, whizkid, banky on the scene things have never been better. For a long time we lacked good female naija acts...I mean apart from sasha and maybe bouqui there were no female artistes that could even stand close to our male artistes.
However with people like waje, asa and tiwa on the scene things are looking up for the female artiste.
Tiwa has particularly impressed me, however I was deeply saddened when i saw the video for her song "love me, love me, love me". I mean the faux jacket she wears with her boobies all out? so not necessary! Its so sad "cus tiwa should be a role model to young nigerians... and pulling a "rihanna" in a video is so not the way to go. Please tiwa next time you do not need to go naked to do a video ok?

I don't want to be all preachy o..but our bodies are temples of God.. Even as Nigerian we are known for our values, lets try and preserve them.

NNPC staff killed by domestic help and driver

2011-11-17T03:45:00.000-08:00

A staff of NNPC Afishetu Abdullahi was killed by her driver and an accomplice a few days ago.

Apparently the late Afishetu was a top shot at NNPC and while she lived alone in Abuja her family live in Auchi.

She had called her family to inform them she will be home for the recently concluded Sallah holiday. After she didn't return home and her phone didn't go through they got worried . After searching through mortuaries and hospital in the fear that she was involved in an accident they decided to go to her house in garki, where the security man said his madam had travelled.

After searching in futility they broke into her house and discovered that her house had obviously been robbed and found her dead body stuffed into her freezer!

However, her driver Amanya and his accomplice Kennedy where picked up by FCT police and confessed to perpetuating the crime.

According to him he had worked in a car wash and was employed by his madam a few weeks ago. He developed a deep hatred for her after he bashed her Infinity Jeep and she told him to repair it or face being arrested by the Police. After this incident he began to hatch his plans to eliminate her. Read the full story of his confession below:

http://newnigerianpolitics.com/2011/11/16/wickedhow-driver-killed-nnpc-official-over-n4m/

May God keep us safe, let please be security concious when employing our domestic staff.

Bibi Natural hair and body butter!

2011-10-24T15:29:00.000-07:00

Watch this space for more info about Bibi Naturals Shea butter Products!

"Da Maria" Italian Food and Delicatessen, Wuse 2, Abuja

2011-10-21T01:15:00.000-07:00

Hello there!

My friends and I eat out a lot so I have decided to start reviewing restaurants!

First on my list " Da Maria" Italian Food and Delicatessen in Wuse 2. I had heard alot about it so of course I had great expectations. Apparently, in true Italian style they have a different menu every evening, so you never know what to expect.

From the moment I walked in the first thing that hit me was the pleasant aroma of olives and cheese..it truly smelt like I was in Milan, Palermo or some other Italian town! The decor and overall ambiance was very nice indeed. I looked forward to a gastronomical adventure!

For my first course I ordered "lasagna alla bolognese" and it was perfect! very cheesy and had that authentic Italian flavour, I was also surprised to find myself quite full after that. I also tasted a bit of my friends "lasagna alle verdure" , which was more a less a vegetarian version of what I had. It was piping hot and the creamy cheese and broccoli all made for a thoroughly enjoyable dish.

Another friend ordered a Caprese salad, which was basically tomatoes and mozzarella dressed with herbs and olive oil. It was delicious and everyone tucked in. After that we were all ready to give "Da Maria" our seal of approval until our second courses arrived.

Four of us had played it safe and ordered "pollo co peperonata"..we figured anything with chicken and pepperoni must be good, right? wrong!. We were served what tasted like what northerners call "paten-dankali"..it didn't taste Italian at all! It was oily and definitely not what we expected, and almost ruined our dining experience!

We were all quite unhappy with our second course and one of us had her dish returned "why should I come here and eat potato and chicken stew she grumbled angrily". However there was one happy person on the table my friend kas...she had ordered "arrosto di vitello con funghi trifolati" which was roast veal served with some type of mushrooms..it was fantastic! She smiled all though dinner.

So, would I recommend "Da Maria" ? definitely, even though I had expected that the manager would come and apologise to the unhappy customer who returned her food, I will still give them a pass mark (Later on as we left he did apologise, and was quite pleasant).

If you want a taste an authentic taste of "italia" then do give "Da Maria" a try, however order with caution!

Andre Agassi"s father!

2011-07-12T12:28:00.000-07:00

A few days ago Tennis legend Andre Agassi got inducted to the Tennis Hall of Fame. I dont care much for tennis but i always know when all the major championships are being played.

However, as Andre accepted the honour he made a very impressive and well thought out speech. What particularly impressed me was the way he spoke about his fathers impact on his life. I am a firm believer in the power of affirming your children through encouragment and positive words , especially since i had the priviledge of being raised by exceptional parents.

Andre aged 6 with his father courtesy www.smh.com.au

Please find below excerpts of his speech:

Dad, when I was five, you told me to win Wimbledon; when I was seven, you told me to win all of the four Grand Slams; and more times that I can remember you told me to get into the Hall of Fame. And when I was 29, I don’t know if you remember this, you told me to marry Steffi Graf. Best order you ever gave me. So Dad, please don’t ever stop telling me what to do http://www.worldtennismagazine.com/archives/4738
wow! talk about a great dad! Imagine if his father had said "andre you know what? your a loser... you will never amount to anything...your such a lousy tennis player" ..he may still have made it to the top inspite of all the negativity but most probably not.

Parenting is one of the toughest and most rewarding jobs on the planet! Its not something any of us should take lightly as an individuals destiny can be marred by a bad parent. think about the kids in the projects, do you know that statistic show that children who are raised without a father are more likely to end up behind bars?
Look at Oprah...one of the most succesful women on earth, if not for her father who she lived with and who encouraged her passion for eductaion she may not be a household name today.

Even though Emmanuel Agassi has been at various times been described as having a violent nature, and was in no way the perfect father, he seems to have been a good dad to his son.

Yes, mothers are the primary caregivers and many mums have raised exceptional kids on their own but Fathers you need to be around to also motivate your kids and instruct them in the right way like Andre's father.

** Note that I my assumption of andre's father is entirely based upon andre's speech.

Murdered by her husband!

2011-06-29T10:50:00.000-07:00

They look so happy don't they? Like many newlyweds I am sure they imagined a lifetime of happiness. Who would have thought about 2 years later the bride would be gruesomely killed at the hands of none other than her "beloved" groom. Yes! you read right the handsome, quiet looking fellow Arowolo stabbed his wife titilayo to death.

Apparentely titi who worked with skyebank lagos was the bread winner until her death.Her husband/murderer was a known wife beater and had lost his job a few months after their wedding. Theirs was a turbulent marriage and last year she had moved back to her parents place only to return back to her husbands house.

She was found with the murder weapon still in her neck! oh such agony! How can the same hands that hold you lovingly inflict so much pain??

I am sure the signs where there but poor innocent titilayo in a bid to make her marriage work tried to work things out and now she is no more.

Please if you are in an abusive relationship seek help! if you dont have a family go to your pastor or imam.Only a living woman can talk about having a marriage. I am not saying that because your husband pushed you last year you should leave (neither am I saying that pushing is ok).

It starts before the marriage, screaming at the slightest provocation, hitting for no reason..Please dont be another statistic..RIP titilayo I pray your death will not be in vain.

aunty payshay!

2011-06-01T14:12:00.000-07:00

growing up we had an aunt called aunty patie (prounounced payshay) which was the local short name for patience. She was an aunt from the village which was why we called her aunty patie

Years later I have met another patie..the dame herself! Dame Patie Jonathan..why do I call her patie? well because she has this local quality about her..the way she talks, walks everything about her is "localish" but you can't help but like her.

Well now after seeing her pics in Sundays Thisday I like her even more....she sure is pretty and TY bello is fantastic! I know some may think that was all TY Bello artistry and airbrushing at work, but to be honest if she wasn't pretty Ty bello wouldnt ahve been able to do any magic!

Talking about magic i remember those days of motion pictures in uni.this young lady took a picture with "ola mighty" one of the campus photographers. When she came to collect her picture she was appalled and screamed saying she wouldnt pay as the picture was not nice.
As she walked away angrily ola said aloud " oga o! I am a photographer not a magician, na wetin the camera see e take now, how can i make an ugly lady beautiful"..

I think he was wrong though cus everyone is beautiful in their own way...just look at the dame!

Have a blessed week.

courtesy: Thisday style
TY bello

I want to be born again!

2011-06-01T11:56:00.000-07:00

My 3 children are wonderful! like most parents I love them and they give me so much joY!

This morning as I was rushing to get dressed for work my 6 yr old came into my room and said "mummy i want to be born again" I thought i didnt hear again so asked him.."sweetie what did you say?" and he said "I want to give my life to Christ" ...i was pleasantly surprised so even though I hadnt been the perfect christian mum my son had learnt from all my preaching and wants to give his life to Christ...wow!. I gave him a big hug and promised to pray with him when i got back.

I got home and quickly read about leading children to Christ. I was so excited! However I wnated to know if he truly understood waht it meant to give his life to Christ! I asked him what giving his life to Christ meant, and he said " to be born- again" :)...

MUM: why do you want to be born-again?

SON: becasue I want to sit in front with you...

:) :) ...Lol! i still prayed with him and he proceeded to drill me on Gods age (he even tried to use my phone to goggle it). He wuite curious about God a few weeks ago so him searching microsoft encarta for a picture of God.

now let me explain, with all my kids (yes i know its wrong but I did it sha)...i usually sit with them in front on the way back from church (thats basically the only time the whole family is in the car)..and I always sit with the baby, mainly because baby is always clingy n wants mummy.. However with my 3rd child i didnt do it partly beacsue I realised how dangerous it is for kids to sit infront.

Anyway my 6 year old tried to sit in fron with me last sunday and I was like " son, you cant sit in front , kids cant sit in front and besides I only allowed you before becasue you were a baby now your a big boy"

Therefore my son wants to be "born again" so I can carry him in front again!...kids!!!

What funny things have your young ones said? please share

Right before your very eyes!

2010-09-23T07:37:00.000-07:00

I know you guys may not believe this but it is a true story.

Just recently we received a tip off that one of our ex employees ( nna) planned to steal the mercury in our grandfather clock. apparentely mercury is very expensive and he told our informant (lets call him sam) that they could sell the mercury for 2mil.

Sam told nna that he would think about it and came to us immediately. Sam told us that he would be happy to help us set a trap for nna. A few days later sam told nna that the coast was clear as we were all out of town, so nna came to teh house with all his breaking in equipment.

To cut the long story short, nna was apprehneded by a plain clothed officer lying in ambush. As soon as he was caught we noticed that he had this funny necklace which he was struggling to emove, aslo he kept screaming for water. The police man handcuffed him so his struggle to remove the necklace ended and his pleas for water were ignored.

At the police station he kept screaming for water. He was told to sit in a corner and shut while sam filled in a police report. A few minutes later the police man asked nna to come and write his own .. "oya where is that boy, come and write". To our surprise as we all turned to where nna had been sitting we saw an empty chair and an almost empty bottle of water.

Apparentely another officer had left a bottle of water near her desk next to where nna was sitting and stepped out. Immediately and alarm was raised, maybe he escaped through the window! but the windows where firmly shut like didnt look like they had been touched in months. Anyway thast how nna disappeared!.

What do you guys think happened?

Body Magic!

2010-09-23T06:51:00.000-07:00

The reigning multi-level scheme on the block is body magic. apparently their main products are body shaping lingerie, aimed at sculpting the body and hiding all bumps and bulges.

I was however a bit surprised when a lady walked up to me asking if i wanted body magic....you may wonder why .Well mainly because the lady was almost twice my size and had a very big tummy, while i am no model the sales woman definitely needs some body magic herself!

The next day as i shopped in mararaba an abuja suburb it just dawned on me that a lot of women wear ill fitting bras, most times their poor boobs and squeezed into a bra 2 sizes too small, resulting in all sorts of spillage. I see some women and wonder "why did she bother wearing a bra?" In fact some women actually don't bother, and I guess its OK when the lady is not too busty,however when you see a 38 EE walking around without a bra it just doesn't seem right.

The truth is that many women in this country don't know their bra size, and what type of underwear they need under some types of clothing. For some the closest they have had to a bra fitting is having some annoying boy in tejuoso( of those days) size up their chest and pull out a bra saying " sister this na your bust".

Enjoy the rest of your week.

African Magic Yoruba, Juju & Ireti Osayemi

2010-08-03T14:31:00.001-07:00

My fav channel this year has been channel 118 African Magic Yoruba(AMY). Yes, its filled with juju, witches and all but hey, that's the reality of life.

I guess the fact that i spent some years in benin made me more conscious of the evil and wickedness that abounds in the world, from spirit husbands, witches, native doctors, possessed people, ogbanje's ..It was as a young girl in benin that i knew that people could be quite fetish.

In University i was also shocked to find a sophisticated friend of mine used to come to school laden with all sort of charms given to her by her mothers baba. Na wa! In fact anyone who doubts how widely used charms are only need buy a copy of city people:

" Old woman with old power ..mama ikire , for your love charm, love me only, get visa, win contract, cure watery sperm, stroke ati bebelo!" lol! its not funny o but its funny! and these people advertise so much in city people so they are obviously getting lots of customers from the adverts.

However what annoys me about the movies is that the person being afflicted with evil always goes to some other babalawo, whatever happened to calling on Jesus to give you victory over the devil? instead they go from one devil to another looking for solutions...crazy!.

Apart from that the AMY movies are well produced and directed (well most of them).

One actress that has my admiration is Ireti Osayemi, I love her in almost all her roles, esp Jenifa. She can convincingly go from bush village girl, to lagos big girl. I watched her play the role of liberian lady in DURO. Her liberian accent was almost spot on. Another actress i love is Mercy Aigbe; usually when i see her i look forward to a good movie.

Another reason I watch AYM is to improve my yoruba, after growing up in Lagos, its kinda embarrassing that i dont speak yoruba..mogbo die die, but thats not God enough. Even my cousin who was raised in the east has learnt quite a bit of yoruba from AYM.

My point is that for those of you who don't watch yoruba movies, give them a try...they ain't bad!

A new beginning!

2010-08-02T16:15:00.000-07:00

Happy New Month! Nyemoni thanks for looking out for your girl, you rock! Its been crazy< for some reason finding time to write has been difficult but I must continue what i started.

August for me is a special month its a month full of promise and sweet memories. My mama was born in August and I miss her so much this month will be the first one without her.

I must begin again, no matter how tight my schedule 5mins a week to keep my blog happy is not to much.

So here it goes; " I promise to update my blog at least once a week (or fortnightly :)) ". The truth is that many of the things I want to talk are about are things that must be written anonmously so i am a bit reluctant someone may uncover the identity behind the blog.

Ok guys take care and Happy New month< Happy New start!

Hello World!

2010-05-18T12:13:00.000-07:00

Its strange how one can go from blogging habitually to not blogging at all.

I have so much to share and writing for me is therapeutic, as its helps release pent up emotions and thoughts.

Last year was a crazy year, the devil tried to mess with me, but God has kept me. in the midst of madness, great pain, betrayal, wickedness in high and low places God has kept me.

I am a survivor and will overcome by the Blood of the Lamb.

This year is a year of victory! Earth is a battle ground and by God Grace I have the Victory!!!!!!!!

Phone Stalker!!!

2009-09-12T06:02:00.000-07:00

Tobenna i must indeed be patient! all those calls have stopped except one..I have a phone stalker who calls himself Jim Iyke..he flashes me like 12 times a day or more usually at night...read below some of his texts:

Hello girl I love u so much says your love..amaka please call

Amaka why are you cutting my credit? please call

Amaka i will like to talk to you I love you. I am jim iyke

he probably, thought...yeah all the ladies love jim iyke(not) this will make her call me..lol!

Amaka love please call

Am having slepless night while you sleeping. i love you .i will not stop loving. Please call ( this was after a series of 1am flashes)

At this point i decided to reply him and tell him I was not amaka, and this was his reply.

You think u can deceive me by telling me your name is not amaka?

Amaka good day how are you doing I need an anwser.

Amaka why have you forgotten me so soon( see me see trouble!) reply

Then my name changes

Esther pls let me know whenerver ur back, eitehr u flash me or text

amaka you didnt reply

Tell me that you dont love me anymore amaka reply!!!

Lol I could go on and on..which kain whala be this...my advice dont send texts to city people!!

The exit of a Legend!

2009-06-26T05:11:00.001-07:00

Tis so sad about Micheal jackson..A true legend...much loved, much misunderstood. Thats life O here today..Gone Tomorrow, hope he knew Jesus...

He was not only one of the greates entertainers ever..he was a father, friend , a brother and a son. He was the inspirtation for many of the great entertainers we have today...Ne-Yo, Justin Timberlake, P-square, Usher ..the list goes on.

Was asking my 5 year old if he knew him and suprisingly he did..(though sadly, he thought he was white). RIP micheal you will be missed

City People!!

2009-06-26T04:27:00.000-07:00

I am not a fan of Cp..the stories they carry are sometimes embarassing and can cause some people distress. However people around me buy it, so on some occassions are read through it.
Ok I opened City people the other day and saw a head line..."Why do must Nigerian Married Men sleep with their helps?" I was incensed...not because Nigerian men are saints..but because I hate it when all these tabloids write stuff that inaccurate.Apparentely quite a no of me sleep with the help, but does that translate to most?

I shared my displeasure with an older lady at my office and she was like " yes 90% of nigerian men sleep with maids..that is the truth" na wa is it that bad? i refuse to believe they are so many irresponsible mena round.

Anyway I now made the msitake of sending city people a text which they published..in my text I basically said yes a lot of men are irresponsible, but not most men sleep with their househelps. and that they should stop giving our men a bad name ...haba! Since that day I have been getting texts and calls from men who saw my text. Some just thanked me for defending the decent men out there, well some proposed marriage..lol! Read some of the texts below:

"Amy I appreciate ur matured mentality towards Nigerian men"

"Hey there, I really like the response u gave city people on why Nigerian men sleep with house maid. U r the best. Shlm"

"Madam I like u. tell ur husband dat he is lucky 2 hv u. ppl like u are rare. u 2 much. nt married yt n as a christain I gat principles, dats whats keeping me, wnt 4get u. Adios"

"Hello, gudday, God bless u n ur lucky husband for ur response to city people..."

"My names are patrick freeman, I am so poor but of good looking. Ur name affect me due 2 d fact dat my life vision has something 2 do with me. r u in abuja? if so pls call me"

"Tank u amaka for ur brilliant point on city people . I strongly agree wt u. Do u stay in lagos"

"Hmm I wish all nig ladies are like u I would have gotten married in medical school"

Lol! now I recieve calls from strange men every other day. I am however happy that I was able to defend them...i mean not all men are dogs!! One called me yesterday and said that alot of men that sleep with maids do it for ritualistic purposes " amaka, why do u think all these men are driving all these big cars?its from ritual"...lol.

Anyway next time I wont send city people text..who send me message sef..

A Father's LOVE!!

2009-06-18T02:13:00.000-07:00

People always talk about a mother's love, but you hear little about loving father's. Even in churches there is so much fuss about mothers day but fathers day is often overlooked and under celebrated. As fathers day approaches lets go all out to make our daddy's feel loved.

There is no doubt that a mother has a great impact on her kids, but they are great fathers too. My dad was the worlds greatest (RIP)...such a wonderful man. I stammered as a child(still do atimes) but every other day after work he would take a voice recorder and patently make me practice my speech. He would praise every effort and always told me how much he and my mum loved us all. My mum didn't have such patience lol! thanks to my dad I hardly stammer and I grew up into a young woman confident of a fathers love.

Yesterday I ran into my cousin in law (whatever that means!) and he was with his 10 month old son. I assumed his wife who had gone to study in the UK was back, as she had gone with the baby. However, he told me that she was still in school and he had to go there a few month ago to bring baby home. "she couldn't cope, and she refused to admit it, I had to go and insisted on bringing him home". Here was a young architect living alone with his son, no house help or relatives..I was quite moved. He told me he worked from home so must times he would stay home with him, but that when he knew he would have a busy day moving around he would take him to daycare.

He explained that it was quite difficult at first as the boy was just starting to crawl when they got back, and he was all over the place, but now he has gotten the hang of things. Infact, he had to go to a meeting with him once and the man he met was so impressed that he was looking after his son that he gave him the job, this is something he had been chasing for a while. However he explained that he has had to cancel a few meeting because of him. " I cant attend any business meeting after 6, cus I have to rush to get him at 7pm , infact one man told me I was unserious and asked why I was doing a woman's job, after i explained i had to cancel a meeting to pick up my son. . "

After I had talked to my cousin in law for a few minutes he woke up his sleeping son. When I asked why he explained that the boy had been sleeping to long and he had to wake him up or else he woud'nt get a good night sleep..lol!

I was just moved witnessing the amn interactiuon with his son... nice guy. I know its his son but how many men would do what he did? not many.Anyways the guy cant wait for his wife to be back from school, and needless to say he appreciates his wife even more. "First I witnessed his birth , now this..women dey try"

To all the Fathers out there ...Happy Fathers Day!!

What would u do?

2009-06-12T08:10:00.001-07:00

if your boss was hitting on you?

One of my ogas has been on my case. When I was interviewed for this job he was on the panel and boy did he give me a hard time! He akse some crazy questions and was just plain mean!

When I started work a few weeks later, he saw me and beamed a smile, telling me not to mind how he behaved during the interview. The next day he sent for me and gave me this pep talk on how people from my part of the country where in the minority in my office so we all ahd to look out for each other. He went ahead to give me advice on things I shouldn't do in the office, he was nice and fatherly. When I was paid my housing allowance he even told me how I should buy my husband a very nice gift.

A few weeks later things changed, he would ask why I hadn't called and started sending me strange email with messages like " how was your day? God bless you" and would call me at odd hours to say "hello". Hmm I wanted to believe there was nothing to it.

Last week, he sent for me and told me how beautiful the dress I wore that day was, and how it brought out "everything feminine in me" . He then went ahead to tell me about this play he watched where they remarked that some women where not for one man alone.

I have strated avoiding him o, but its hard because alot of time we have to work together....men sha!

Do u believe in Reincarnation?

2009-06-10T04:05:00.000-07:00

I was with 2 of my colleagues a few days ago and somehow our gist led to the topic of re incarnation. I personally do not believe in reincarnation. As far as i am concerned if you look and walk like your late grandad its because you guys have the same genes, and if you were born a week after he died its a conicidence.
Well Vicky my colleague thinks differentely hear her story

" I never beleieved in it o, but now i know better. You see my paternal grandma had a very bad marriage, my grandad beat her frequently and she often returned to her parents home. On one occassion after a particularly fierce beating, she once again fled to her parents home, on her way she had an accident and passed away shortly after. According to people who were with her when she died, she swore that in her next life she would not be in a nurry to marry and that when she married it would be a man who loved her to bits.

When I was born everyone said I was my grandma, as far as i was concerned that was a load of rubbish. However years went by and though suitors came they never stayed, I was becoming an old spinster. I Attend winners and I prayed ferventely for God to send me my husband. I also went to my village and to "prayer places" and after a while the people at home told me to go and beg my grandma, that I was her, and could only marry if she allowed me.

The last time I went home my mother told me that the last person she spoke to concerning my marriage said i should go with my dad to my grandma's grave. She instructed mt to sit on my dads lap while he spoke to his mum to allow me to marry. I agreed and my dad and I did as we had been told.I returned to abuja not thinking much of it

A month later after a man came seeking my hand in marriage, he was obviosly smitten and wanted to marry me immediately! I could not believe it with time i found out he was even from the same town as me! A few months later we got married, and life has been sweet. He pets me and treats me like a baby, even when i am wrong he just laughs and corrects me lovingly. The type of man grandma said she would marry!"

I asked her if she didnt believe it was God that had answered her prayers. She replied in the affirmative " God answered me by letting me know i should talk to my grandma, since i was her, reincarnated.

I was shocked to discover that many "christians" much to my suprise believe in re incarnation.

Beggars & 419ers

2009-04-24T03:29:00.000-07:00

I have nothing against beggars...well i do actually, but the type of beggars that annoy me are the "corporate beggars". You may be wondering what exactly I mean, well you know that door man at tfc that gives you a patronizing smile, salutes and says " aunty mi" in a annoyingly oily voice? A good example of a coporate beggar. Now, dont get me wrong there is nothing wrong with tipping a guy who has opened the door for you, or helped you park..but its the way the stand there almost like " aunty you better give me somthing o"..and worse still if you give them something below their expectation (sorry mate N100 is not a tip anymore) they show thier displeasure.

The one that gets to me most, are those one with stories, you find them in every church. They accost you after the service " uncle pls help me, I am stranded, i only need N500 to complete my transport"...nice one! all you need is to tell that to 10 naive ladies and you've made 5k..not bad for a days work. The scary thing is that judging by thier diction and choice of words, these may be unemployed university graduates.

If you live in abuja you may know this one guy, tall not bad looking, he hangs around places like fed secretariat, sahad e.t.c. I encountered him for the first time 3 years ago at the secretariat. He greeted me warmly, he looked decent so I stopped and responded. He reminded me that we were on a flight from lagos a few weeks ago, it made sense i had been to lagos around that time. Then came his line " pls do you have N1500 the taxi i came with is outside and I dont have enough money, I will pay you back later"( this is in abuja where taxi fares are cheap) . I shook my head and walked away.
I came across the same guy last year, same story line " dont you remeber me?...then yesterday in sahad I saw a guy flagging me down and running to me, " ah my friend wait now,it's me, don't you remember me? I looked at him I felt like saying " yes I remeber you, your a fraud and you should try and make a decnt living form the money you have scammed of people...rubbish" but i just looked him in the face and said NO!...

How about those crazy phone calls. "Hello this is segun (everyone that grew up in the west knows at least one segun) from port" . I sure don't know any segun that lives in port-harcourt! " it's me your old friend,ah its great to talk to you..ore mi.. I got your number from nike (another common name) please your in abuja right? Can you confirm your address ( he then goes on to reel out my actual address) I dont confirm anything..i'm just like "ok segun how can i help you" He then goes on to say how he has a contract for me in abuja .but as soon as he tells me about the contract his phone starts misbehaving.." ah sister pls, call back so we can discuss the contract". Amazingly a friend who was with me told me to call back " chi chi he must know you, after all he kn ows your address?" I shook my ahead and thought " wow! you would be such an easy prey, I pray they dont get you" .

I came across another guy in wuse market, he was very unkempt and dirty, he was marketing a book he published, saying he didnt have money to launch and that i should buy from him. I bought the book and I saw him 2 weeks later...and I said " young man, I admire the fact that you wrote a book ( more like a poorly written pamphlet) on a very topical subject (child abuse) but they are better ways of marketing.Standing by peoples cars and accosting them as soon as they come out..not a nice. He thanked me for my advice and went to the next car. I actually felt for this guy, cus at least he was selling something..infact I wont call him a beggar, that would be unfair.

The truth is that ihe si kwa ike na obodo nigeria..(tins r hard).but we thank God for his grace. Alot of people are forced to beg because things are so hard. Its heart breaking to see a full grown man or woman been reduced to a beggar.

Please feel free to send me incidents where you were approached my corporate beggars and the like and how you responded.

the internet: user beware

2009-04-24T03:18:00.000-07:00

Through the internet our world has truly become a global village, just the other day I was able to get in touch with an old friend in Namibia through the internet ( not through face book).All sorts of information is at your finger tips , from cooking recipes, herbal remedies, news, music , you can even download a free sermon!. There are loads of educational Sites such as IXL for kids to learn math’s, and free cartoon print outs and games to keep them entertained . Personally when I am faced with a problem, after I pray, I go online and more times than not I am able to get an answer.
In the past few years social networking sites such as bebo, twitter and facebook have become extremely popular. However it’s not all good as the internet is fraught with dangers.
For instance, a lady left her husband after she found out he had an illegitimate child via face book, her friend had seen the pictures of him at the the babies naming.

In another face book incident a Christian woman hooked up with her ex boyfriend who she hadn’t seen in 6yrs , at first it was innocent chatting but she was unhappy in her own marriage and soon was engaged in an adulterous affair.
What makes the internet even more dangerous is the fact that children as young as 6 have access to it. There in an unlimited amount of pornography and other unwholesome material available on the internet. If your children must use the internet it should be under adult’s supervision and on no account should children under 18 be allowed on social sites such as face book. This is because sexual predators such as pedophiles often go on such sites looking for young children to lure. In the UK they have been several cases of young teenagers like Victoria ailing– a 14 year old who ran away with a man she met on bebo,.
I believe God gave us the knowledge of witty inventions such as the internet , but he also gave us wisdom to browse safely!.

No 1 and No 2

2009-03-30T03:33:00.000-07:00

My 2nd son is too cute! well all my kids are actually, but the second one is especially interesting cus he seems so quiet..but is actually a talker!

Yesterday was cleaning him up after he used the toilet, and he went on to educate me on the uses of tissue paper.

" Mummy i can use it to clean my bum bum , and my nose and clean my mouth.." U can also use it to clean up after you pee" I reminded him (forgetting he was a boy).

" No mummy, only girls clean up after they pee, because they pee from their bum bum..they dont have a wee wee like me and daddy ..they do everything from their bum bum."

Ok..now I am wondering why I posted this..lol..Have a great week all!

Touching story!

2009-03-24T02:18:00.000-07:00

Ok..i am not really good at linking stuff, so I have just lifted the whole story from guardian...nice!

LENE Kamm came to Lagos from Denmark last week to attend a conference. But she used the opportunity to search for her father, Emmanuel Owhin whom her Danish mother, Else Gyring Nielsen said is a Nigerian. Born in Denmark in 1957, Lene's story was published last Saturday in The Guardian. But as it turned out, her father died in 1982.
However, she didn't come in vain for she was able to unite with her half brothers and sister as well as other members of the family who read her story in The Guardian. The reunion was made possible through the effort of her half sister, Sarah Owhin who returned from London a day after the publication oblivious of it all.
Sarah, 35, recalled that her phone kept ringing around 8 pm last Saturday but she initially ignored it because she didn't want to be disturbed at that hour of the day. Besides she had just returned from London.
Unknown to her, it was one of her friends, Austin Eni Okojie calling all the way from Abuja. Her mother, Josephine Owhin, urged her on to pick her phone and answer her caller. She eventually did so in disguise. The dialogue, according to Sarah, went thus:
"Can I speak to Sarah?", asked Okojie.
"No, Sarah is not around; she's in London. It is Esther her daughter," she replied.
"Please call Sarah in London and tell her that one of her sisters from Denmark is looking for her father Emmanuel Owhin and wants to meet with his children or relatives."
"How did you get to know about it,?"
"The story is in The Guardian of today"
She thanked him and pondered in her mind who this person could be. For Sarah, a graduate of Ondo State University who is now based in London, the next step was how to locate Lene in Lagos. She contacted The Guardian to make enquiries.
She was eventually taken to meet Lene with her mother Josephine at the head office of Support A Child, organisers of the workshop that brought Lene to Nigeria, at Victoria Island. There, she was interrogated by Mrs. Abisola Williams, mother of Olatoun Williams, organizer of the workshop.
Sarah's mother explained that Emmanuel Owhin was her husband and that they met while she was working with the Pilgrimage Board in Lagos and he Owhin was managing director of his company, Fountain Services, an advertising and publishing company based in Ebute-Metta, Lagos in 1968. She explained that her husband was a freelance advertiser with Daily Times at that time. She later tied the nuptial knots with him and the union is blessed with three children: Sarah, Emmanuel (Jnr) and Samson.
Mrs. Williams called people such as Prince Tony Momoh, former minister of information and one time editor of Daily Times to confirm the authenticity of the story. She also called Jane Ejueyitchie-Oroye, a former principal of Oueen's College Lagos and an Itsekiri woman to ascertain whether she knew anyone called Emmanuel Owhin. She discovered that Emmanuel Owhin's grandmother was an Itsekiri woman and she lived and died in Lagos.
Linkage confirmed, Olatoun Williams came to take Sarah and her mother to meet Lene who was staying at an hotel in Ikoyi. On sighting her sister, Lene broke into tears. She was consoled by Sarah who said: "God just decided to unite you with your family, since you have been nice to many people helping them to reunite with their families. You don't need to cry."
From there, Lene was taken to the family house in Mushin. There, she took so many pictures and met some other of her relatives. Later in the day, her brother, Mark Owhin who had just come from the United Kingdom was hinted about the story and initially he could not believe it. Mark, who was born in 1962, is an engineer based in the UK. He also came to the hotel to be united with Lene. But he forgot his glasses in his car parked outside the hotel. So his sister, Lene, who also equally uses glasses, gave him her glasses for him to read her story in The Guardian.
"I am happy to meet my sister. We are going to keep in touch. We are going to be exchanging letters and we look forward to more good things to come," he enthused.
Lene is happy that her colleagues from Denmark have already found some resemblance in her and her Sarah. Lene reached her children in Demark and they had a live communication with her brother. Her son, Jens, a lawyer, was very happy that at last, his mother has discovered her roots.

Found my school mother after 19yrs!

2009-03-10T02:32:00.000-07:00

I am a big fan of the internet and just a few months ago i was able to trace a friend i hadn't seen in almost 20 years!.
Fiina was my school mother in secondary school. Fiina was really a mother to me in every way..and after she left Nigeria I tried my best to stay in touch (She is from Namibia) but after awhile we lost touch.
Well I didnt have a clue how i could reach her , until i rembered that i had found another friends email address through google. I googled fiina's name and found out she was the councillor representing her district in Namibia. However there was no contact no or address anywhere, I was at a dead end but i kept on searching and came up with the same results.
While searching i stumbled upon a couple who lived in her district keetmanshoop..I sent them an email asking if they knew how I could reach their councillors office. I sent that letter not thinking they would reply afterall who replies letters from strange Nigerians...however they did reply giving me a number i could try. I called and was given 2 other numbers to try , and eventually i was given fiina's mobile number!..she was in shock? she could not believe i had traced her, and she was so so excited. She calls me and sends me messages telling me how much she misses Nigeria and is looking forward to visiting with her 13 year old daughter.
Its good to be able to trace someone and know they are hale and hearty. Fiina is a madam in her country, the equivalent of a local govt chairman or house of rep member( I believe) has a big home and travels the world. I have one more person i hope to find with the help of the internet, hope i suceed.

Pyramids in Igbo land!

2009-02-09T06:39:00.000-08:00

A pyramid housing Nsude village shrine, Abaja, Northern Igbo. (Enugu State?)

Now I am shocked that in all my years of existence I never knew that Igbo people built pyramids, nothing like the gigantic Egyptian pyramids but pyramids nonetheless.

The picture above shows the late G.I Jones in front of a pyramid. He was was a Welsh photographer and anthropologist. His photographs of life in Nigeria in the 1930s, taken whilst serving as a colonial civil servant, led to an interest in ethnology and a second career as an academic at the University of Cambridge.

I am just so shocked that if i hadn't found G.I Jones archives then I would never had found out this amazing piece of out history. I wonder if these pyramids still exist, very unlikely. Knowing Nigerians and their utter disregard for preservation of anything..they have leveled the pyramids and erected some vulgarity on it.

Me I love the white man o!I love the fact that they would come to an unknown land and fall in love with the people and culture even in the most treacherous conditions. People like Mary Slessor who risked her life for strangers.

Most of the pictures I have seen which show my people in the 30's and 1900's were taken by some colonial guy. G.I Jones your are my hero of the month for giving me a glimpse into the past.

http://mccoy.lib.siu.edu/jmccall/jones/

Nigerian English ( A foreigner's view)

2009-02-07T15:45:00.000-08:00

I stumbled on this today, enjoy! http://giantofafrica.blogspot.com/2006/09/nigerianisms.html

Nigerian English

2009-01-26T14:04:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone! I have always marvelled at the way Nigerians speak english ..I dont mena pidgin english. Let me tell you some of my favourites.

Thanks for yesterday--As far as I am concerned this was translated from yoruba. ese l' ano

I don't know for him o! -- This one is Igbo.." Amam ya?"

Well done-- Now this doubles as a greeting, even if your just sitting down doing nothing you will be greeted with " well done sir"

Yester night-- This one really annoys me.

You should always be on corporate???

We deal on shoes and bags --Whats wrong with saying we deal in?

Well strangely around can't remember anything else..If you have any uniquely Nigerian phrases pls feel free to send em .

Have a blessed week.

anonymous thanks for reminding me also cant understand " off the light" and " it doesnt worth it"

"shift for me " once u hear anyone say that anywhere in the world be sure the person is a NIgerian...

"can I be on to..." very annoying!
too funny...

thanks peeps ur contributions r all spot on.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2009-01-08T04:10:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone! wishing u the very best in 2009. I heard a story yesterday and i found it interesting.

Well Apparently theres this money bag in Lagos who has at least 1bill in some bank and is a chronic womaniser. Well as you can imagine alot of girls throw themselves all over him in a bid to get his account.

As the story goes miss annie who works in a new gen bank known for its light skinned babes with short skirts (and sometimes shorter morals) is despearate to meet her target. You see miss annie is born again and swore never to resort to anything immoral to get anyones account, but now her job is on the line. Her widowed mum and four siblings all live off her income so she can't afford to loose her job.

Her "friend" advises her to approach mr money bag " annie your very beautiful, he would do anything you want if u just give him what he wants" " its just sex annie" her friend goes on, "after 5 minutes its all over and you get a big account".

She struggles with herself and prays to God for help, she is given an ultimatum MEET YOUR TARGET / OR YOUR OUT! . She calls her friend to escort her to mr money bags office. Mr money bag likes what he sees annie is beautiful and has a phenomenal body "my dear, i will give you all my accounts just meet me at....".

The next day annie is there, she knows she has let herself down, but she is desperate..Mr money bag comes into the room, she wants to back out but its too late" Lord pls help me, " she prays silently. Mr moneybag trys to enter but there is a barrier " ah ah young lady are you a virgin" ..."yes" annie answers him trembling and sobbing softly.

Mr money bag is moved " you mean you were ready to sacrifice your virginity for a job?" don't worry dear i dont need it, you can go. Annie is bothe relieved but scared at the same time..ok so she didnt sleep with him, but now she will surely loose her job.

The next day she gets a call from a more conservative bank with a job offer, better pay package, better level, she is overwhelmed. Apparentely Mr money bag told his bankers to offer her a job and make her his account officer or he would close his account.

I found it interesting that the man had compassion. God bless you all

Monster!

2008-12-03T02:18:00.001-08:00

A housewife caught her husband making love to their under aged daughters inside their apartment in Mararaba, Nasarawa State.

The girls were aged seven and two. Our reporter learnt that was the second time that the woman would catch her husband making love (sic) to his daughters.

The suspect Saidu Waziri blamed the act on the devil (always blame the devil!) and appealed to the police to forgive him as he had learnt his lesson. The Idiot, mad man, also blamed his wife for not giving him sex when he needed it.

He said whenever his wife refuses to let him sleep with her, he is forced in the night to play with his daughters private parts to satisfy his sexual urge (have you never heard of prostitutes?)

The suspect who denied penetrating his daughters private parts with his male organ, however accepted that his wife once caught him making love to his daughters and took the case to the village where it was resolved amicably after he apologised to his family.

I drank alcohol and could not control myself and was playing with my daughters private part..( sicko)

This story really upset me. The fact that the wife had caught him once and all his family did was resolve the case amicably.

God please save children from such monsters.

Ribadu!

2008-12-01T02:00:00.000-08:00

It is such a small world! met up with write freak a fellow blogger few days ago and found out I knew her husband and that we all went to the same Uni. There are truly only 6 degrees of separation.
Quick question? Why is it that in Nigeria we pay our live in nannies less than we pay those who come and go, while its the complete opposite overseas. In Nigeria the excuse is that the live- in nanny eats your food, and you take care of her health and so on, but she is on duty round the clock!
Anyway let me move on to the topic at hand, Nuhu Ribadu. When I read how he and his family where pushed out of the hall during the NIPSS graduation I almost cried. Its one thing to humiliate him, but why assault his family? He has been demoted already is that not enough?

The funny thing about the travails of ribadu is that everyone knows its a certain ex-governor behind it. I think Nigeria has just shown the world that the whole anti-corruption thing is a farce and non existent in Y'ardua's govt. NA WA

Am I still a blogger!

2008-11-20T07:54:00.000-08:00

Na wa oh! I haven't blogged in ages..infact does anyone bother to still come here?if you do a thousand apologies..will repent soon!

Insect in my ear!!

2008-09-27T00:36:00.000-07:00

Of all the experiences I have had last nights was one of the scariest! I was a birthday dinner watching the birthjday boy and his family cut the acke when all of a sudden an inect flew into my ear!! I mean how does that even happen? Well it flew in and was fluttering in my ear and I was terrified ..oh My God! I screamed and tried to use my finger to get it out, and as I did that I knew I was only pushing it deeper into my ear.

Meanwhile my "dear" husband was looking at me like I was crazy...A lady from acroos the room saw my agony and came to help...she offered me a toothpick... which calmed me done and of course pushed the insect further in and injured my ear( like i knew I would, but i was so desperate that if i had been giving a needle i would have used it!)

I then ran into the ladies and the kind lady..(bless u nini) poured some water in my eye hoping it wuld make the insect float..for where! It just made the now desperate insect flutter more and cling unto my eardrum. I thought I was going mad....I can explain how horrifying the whole ordeal was.

After pouring water for about ten minutes we thought we had drowned it as I could feel no more pain or fluttering..but alas...it was not to be . I ran to the car screaming in agony.

My husband and I drove to a General Hospital with my finger firmly planted in my ear. When we got to the ER we were left there for 10 minutes waiting for the lady who would give us card..NAIJA. The Guy there just told us to wait and ignored us. However luckily my husband a doctor himself called an ENT specialist who told us to pour 5ml of mehylated sprit down my ear to kill the insect and then see him the next day. Later I read that i could have poured baby oil and that would have suffocated the insect and also may have made it float out of my ear.

The next day we rushed to see the ENT doctor who to my amazemnet brought out a vile looking insect the size of an extra large housefly . God deliver us from wicked insects!

Government Hospital staff.

2008-09-16T10:07:00.000-07:00

I got a call yesterday.." Aunty, its rafiu please i need a loan of 3000 naira..please I will pay you back in two weeks, please my wife just lost a baby, pls.." before he could finish I told him to come over.

Rafiu is a young man who did some work for me a few years ago. Over the years he continued to call me to solicit for more jobs and just say hello.

When he finally came and told me his story I almost cried. His wife got pregnant for the first time 4 years ago...out of ignorance they didnt register in a hospital. They figured that when the time came they would just rush to the hospital like they had seen so many other women do. However, when her time came and they rushed to a popular government hospital in town the doctor on duty ask them if they had registered previously. When he replied that it was their first time there he just ignored her. Rafiu was almost in tears " aunty they left her in pains, screaming all through the night, by the time the morning doctor came the baby was dead".

My Question is why must they always be nasty in government hospitals?If you want to be a doctor or nurse you should have a passion for saving lives, and helping people.Why can't you just be nice and humane to patients?I agree they may not be paid well but when you choose to work in the healthcare sector it shouldnt be about money.

Anyway let me continue Rafiu's story. They were devastated by the loss and it took them 2 yrs to conceive again. He was put off by the attitude of the staff at the general hospital and decided to register in a private hospital in the outskirts of Abuja. His wife went into premature labour when she was 7 months pregnant.." Aunty I saw the baby a boy, very small, but alive and moving...a few hours after he was dead"

I felt so sad, you could see a deflated man, he felt like a failure ...how could he loose 2 sons just like that.." What sin have I commited aunty?" As he was telling me the story he was yet to tell his wife, he was scared . To compound the whole thing the only thing his mum could say was that he should send the girl away and find someone else to marry..as there was something wrong with her.

I gave him him 3,000 he needed to pay up her bills and counselled him. I pray they carry a baby in the arms soon, and I pray that Nigerian Health workers have a change of attitude.

On a lighter note why is is that Nigerians just know how to bring people down. I had a baby some months ago and I think I look great (if I may say so myself) all of a sudden someone...sees me and is like oh my goodness ..u are so fat!why did you let yourself go?better do something fast..I almost didnt recognise you.. na wa better work on yourself fast....lol! Like d'banj would say your just jealous cus " I'm(H) OT and your NOT!"

Phoney phone

2008-08-11T08:17:00.000-07:00

When I call my friends and family in the US I often yab them about their Americanized call back messages. I am like “ abeg nkiru I no hear dis ya message o.” Of course when they speak to me they speak the same way they have always spoken...they speak like Nigerians, but once they are at work they switch on their twang and before you blink its “gonna, wanna “.

Just the other day I was speaking to a friend who works in the Us embassy about why a colleague of hers spoke with an America accent and this way her reply “ you know we work with Americans all day even I have started speaking like them unconsciously” Nne I hear you! Unconsciously? Nah! Its a choice.
I will use aunty opemipo as an example..I met her a few years ago in the UK..she moved to London when she was 18 and had lived there for almost 20 years..Yet her accent was as Nigerian as the day she left Naija. According to her “ I left Nigeria as a fully formed woman, I think its a bit silly for me to now be talking like people who were born here”. Infact the woman was just a rebel, when her husbands friends would call and ask “is tunde about?”( is tunde around) she would answer about to do what? Lol

My second example is aunty meg...This is a lady that has lived in an almost exclusively white area in Ohio, USA for the last 15 years and has worked for the state with mostly whites for almost 30yrs but the woman still her her normal naija accent with an Igbo flavour. I mean she speaks the same way with everyone one ...so its not even a matter of her speaking Nigerian with Nigerian and blowing phone with Americans. The woman speaks and they all understand her clearly.

Now I am not saying you cannot blow phone oh! I mean it’s a free world, But the one wey dey vex me is when you do it with your hommies...I mean why blow phone with your sister or your folks back home?
Also if you must blow the phone , do it well! Nothing annoys more than hearing someone speak phone and its not flowing. Especially when the phone is mixed with Edo, Igbo, or Yoruba accent! I actually like how Hausa people speak when they have a slight British accent - very posh!
Now if you live in America or England and speak like your people its all good, when in rome do as the romans. However, the wan wey dey vex me too much! Are my people who after spending 6 years studying abroad return home and years later you still hear them speaking like they were born and bred in the States, or someone who was born in the UK lived there till the “ripe” young age of 5 moves back to naija and 28 years later still speaks with a full british accent. I no blame dem na we for Nigeria dey treat them like gold. My friend who lived in the states for 15years says that once she turns on her Texas twang it literally opens doors for her..” oh madam you come from overseas? Ok you can come in”.

Good ISP anyone?

2008-08-08T08:11:00.000-07:00

Ok..I am going to be off for a while and its mainly because my ISP is troublesome and when it behaves the substandard cords misbehave..can anyone know recommend any good and affordable ISP?

NEPA!!! GENERATOR!! e.t.c

2008-07-11T01:09:00.000-07:00

Its so sad yet so funny that when phcn gives us power my 3yr old screams NEPA!! just like I did decades ago. I also find it funny then when the gen comes on he screams GENERATOR!! talk about giving credit to the right source..

I have been wanting to write something about NEPA and the sorry power situation in our nation for a while, but each time I thought about it I grew weak. I mean it defies all logic, especially since we have had UNINTERRUPTED power supply for the last 3 days!!!
Why do we have to praise God and shout hallelujah each time we come home and see light?
If we have light now (God I thank you!!) why can't we have it like this all the time?

I feel that our leaders are just so greedy and insincere, because they could have solved this power thing if they wanted to. God please touch their hearts !! (amen) I was talking to my neighbour about how stable our power had been in the last 3 days and he hushed me saying " they may hear and remember, just keep quiet"..lol.

As I was saying our leaders are so greedy, once they get into power they forget what they are there for and go on a stealing frenzy. I read an interview my Eunice Egwu the wife of the former Governor of Ebonyi and this part struck me

" There is a force that controls the seat of power, and it has to be controlled either way, negatively or positively. You could have a very good vision for your state or country... but the moment you enter these powers would come up and start playing its role...if you do not hold on (to) God ... definitely you will derail. The same people you are trying to better their life will pull your projects down"

hmm, Nigerians are saboteurs cus as far as I am concerned this power thing is a problem created by some wicked, evil and greedy Nigerians..for as long as the power problem continues some demonic men & women will be making billions at the expense of their fellow countrymen. The Lebanese generator importers have never had it so good!! If indeed we had a genuine power problem then we should be manufacturing state of the art gen sets here in Naija.(sigh)

As long as our refineries don't function these evil people continue to smile to the bank.

As long as oil prices rise, the impact will only be felt in the pockets of these same wicked souls who sell most of our oil to the equally wicked foreigners on the High seas.

God you will judge all these people who are enriching themselves while people suffer.

Nigeria can not even produce enough rice to feed half of its citizenry yet our leaders are stuffing their pockets with ill gotten wealth. When my father was in Public service he took it as a duty to serve his fellow man, today most people in public service are just "chopping" the public wealth with reckless abandon.

Government schools have been on strike for weeks, my 13 yr old niece sits at home dejected while my kids go to school, how can she be happy? Everyday she asks me " mummy have they called off the strike?". Meanwhile nobody cares the Government had refused to even discuss with the striking teachers as if they are rebels without a cause.

Abeg let me not even start talking about how the local manufacturer is being daily frustrated. I read an interview of an Igbo industrialist a few years back and he was asked to advice people who wanted to go into manufacturing, and he said " don't go into it, they will frustrate you! I regret getting into it, my mates that are into importation make much more than I do"

Please take out time today to pray for our country..Its our COUNTRY, no matter where you live, where you were born or when last you came home, you can not erase the fact that you are NIGERIAN.

your man & bridesmaid caught in the act a day before your wedding?

2008-06-26T08:56:00.000-07:00

This was the caption for last weeks edition of wives lives, an opinion poll type weekly write up in the SUN. I always enjoy reading it as they ask really funny questions and get even funnier answers.

When I saw the caption I though most of the women would say they would end the relationship immediately, but boy was I wrong.Out of 9 women 6 said they would go ahead with the wedding, 1 said she would ask for a postponement so may agree to continue, while 2 categorically said they would not go ahead with the wedding.

Here are some of the excerpts

Timilehin " I will still marry him because we have prepared so much for the wedding ......but I will punish him for some months after the wedding..I will later forgive him and we will live our lives peacefully"

Gloria "..the wedding will still hold because my man holds a special place in my heart. I will find out what attracted him to her ....I will forgive him. as for my bridesmaid I will replace her immediately because I am sure she seduced my husband"

Nkechi " I can't go on with such a wedding because for him to sleep with my chief bridesmaid he can definitely sleep with my sister. He will hurt me more if I marry him"

Helen " I will still marry him... but he will suffer for his action my attitude towards him will change. If I cancel the wedding my husband will find another woman to marry and people will think i have a curse on my head. To avoid gossip i will carry on with the wedding..."

Tonia " that wedding will hold. Now that I know the kind of man I am married to I will have to be vigilant. I will marry him to avoid sham and embarrassment..."

Bimpe " of course I will still marry him, I cant be stupid to quit the joyous day ( how about quitting a miserable life?) all because he slept with my chief brides maid. I will still love him. I won't even discuss the matter with him. As for her I will leave her to her conscience she will continue to be my bridesmaid.

Rita " men are scarce.I may postpone it but all i need is a sincere apology from the man. The bridesmaid has eaten the food meant for me alone so she must go far from me"

Mary " I will cancel the wedding no matter how long we have prepared. For him to sleep with her who knows who else he has slept with? he is a womaniser...I will leave my area to settle down somewhere else"

Tope " hmmm I will stop the marriage no matter what. I am sure people will advise me to continue but they won't live with me after and witness him do worse. If the pressure on me is too much I will ask for the wedding to be postponed so I can think about it."

What would u do?

So u think u can dance!

2008-06-07T15:22:00.000-07:00

Abeg make una come help me Oh. My son hardly ever gets picked at dancing competitions at birthday parties. Whenever its time to dance he is always taken out early, now I must admit the boy no to sabi dance, but I wish those silly party clowns would be nicer. Sometimes they make silly comments like .."why u dey dance as if u wan go toilet"..I usually try and laugh over such things with him, but atimes u can tell that he is hurt. At the party today him and one little girl danced, and my boy did try his best, but at the end the parents shouted for both kids to be removed..even parents sef are quite insensitive.
I wasn't a very confident child and I want my boy to grow up very confident..what do i do?allow him continue loosing dancing competitions or teach him how to dance?

Talking about dancing do u see how some little girls dance at parties? Na wa..if my pikin try those over sexy lewd steps I go draw the pikin ear..lol.

Also Nigerians can't keep their coments to themselves. I have a big nose, some people will say pointed but I just call it big. Anyhow my baby girl has her dads small nose..come and see comments from complete strangers.." hello baby! e be like see this pikin resemble im papa..eh baby why u no carry ur mama fine pointed nose?"...lol..abeg make una leave my pikin oh!

ps. I jus dey for the pidgin english mood as I spent alot of time today with my waffy friend..lol

The Angel Bear.

2008-06-07T15:06:00.000-07:00

The Angel Bear.
The little lemon speak story.

One day the little lemon seek the banana to go to the hide and seek together. They play really happy.

The above is something I saw written on one made in china flask. Funny incription or signs anyone? The ones that crack me up are the things they write on those pirated DVDS..lol!!

Testimony Time!

2008-05-25T15:19:00.000-07:00

In my church last Sunday of the month is usually set aside for thanksgiving and testimonies are shared.
Quite a lot were shared today but the ones that touched me the most were.

1. This was shared by a classmate of mine (lets call her A). It just shows that every disappointment can be a major blessing. In this case her disappointment was that her period had unexpectedly turned up a day before her wedding. She was very upset about it but God is so awesome!

On the way to her new home with her husband a gang of 10 robbers attacked them. All their valuables and travel documents were taken. They then attempted to rape A when she told them she was on her period they doubted her and only left her when they saw her stained pad. Na wa! God save us from this criminals.

The second one was a testimony from a politician, who was basically just thanking God that he kept his hands clean while campaigning for office. He asked to pray for Politicians esp. the Christian ones as its really tough for them not to "bow to baal" in the name of power. He gave examples of how his life was threatened because of the seat he sought and how he was approached by a jujuman man who said he would take him into the bush where 5 naked blind women would pray for him and he would definitely win. At the end of the day he went as far as "negotiating" with marabouts but didn't do anything fetish.

His testimony" reminded me of a story A member of the House of Reps told me last year. According to him another man had been competing with him for their constituency and was getting the upper hand. While one morning an old lady came to him and said she had been sent to help him. Later that night he followed her into one bush, at one point she removed her clothes and carried a pot on her head. Well the next day his rival came and prostrated to him and begged him to please spare him as he was no longer interested in the office. Imagine that!

Does breastfeeding make breasts sag?

2008-05-24T13:38:00.000-07:00

Ok for those of you who breastfed or know people that did what do you think, does breastfeeding actually make breasts sag.
This is an article on the subject.

First Love (Crush)

2008-05-22T13:36:00.000-07:00

I have never been the judgemental type, but I have never been able to understand how a woman or man thats married with kids will jeopardize everything over an old flame.

Well until now. I met Tunde when I was in my 2nd year I was just out of a bad relationship and had just gotten born- again so I wasn't interested in guys at all. Tunde was a cute freshman, so handsome! I know he liked me and I liked him too (had a huge crush on him) but I put my guard up the last thing I wanted was a relationship so we remained friends.

He had to leave the country suddenly and I never saw or heard from him again( he contacted me once and then we lost touch)...until yesterday. Since then I have been smiling. I love my husband and we have a stable relationship...but this guy was the first guy I ever really (loved) liked. Its just crazy because talking to him makes me feel like a teenager again....all giggly and silly. Telling me that if my husband is messing up then he is waiting for me and all of that( I hear you).

I thank God for where my marriage is now, cus if it was a couple of years ago...hmm.

ps..don't worry won't do anything stupid, thankfully he's halfway across the world!

Abortion.

2008-05-22T06:06:00.001-07:00

I read daily mail whenever I can and I thinks this is an
interesting story.

Meme

2008-05-20T09:18:00.000-07:00

Aloted tagged meThe rules are:1. Link the person who tagged you to this post
2. Mention the rules in your blog
3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged This meme is about any particular mannerism you have, ok?

As a child my sister(the one after me) and I had this secret language we would speak gibberish and then add in some things that made sense. Our younger sister always felt left out and begged us to teach her the language.

The same sister and I also had what we called our collection. It was a collection of quirky stuff such as silly lines from movies and stuff that just made us laugh. We would recite them and laugh and laugh.

I play with my children like a child! Please tell me I am not the only one that does that. I dance for them and generally clown around infact as a child I dreamt of becoming one of those adults on sesame street. Maybe I should think about becoming a clown for children’s party’s!

I remember everybody! I mean it’s kind of embarrassing ‘cus most of the people can’t even remember me and I remember them so well. Nowadays I have learnt not to make the first move of recognition.

I am really shy..Its really funny ‘cus its so not obvious...but I am really shy, I can’t dance in public or even go forward for thanksgiving in church without feeling like all eyes are on me. I also can’t dance..Lessons anyone?

I daydreamed alot.Its in the past tense (kinda) cus I am working on on stopping as my day dreams were becoming something else and the devil was using that to mess with me. As a child I would sit in class oblivious to what my teacher was saying and go on some imaginary voyage. My teacher would say “ wake up chioma miss day dreamer”

I open my mouth a lot!..I remember this day I left the door open and my dad scolded me...I told him I had closed the door and he replied “ indeed, just like you always close your mouth” lol
That was harder to come up than I thought.

I tag solomonsydelle, daddy's girl, msmt, calabar girl, gbemi, light her lamp.

Sad story.

2008-05-16T05:45:00.000-07:00

I just read this yesterday in the Guardian and it broke my heart. Another reason why parents shouldn't fight or argue in front of the kids no matter their age. This is so Tragic read on.

Quarrelling Parents stab baby to death.

... The Guardian learnt that the scream of the baby attracted residents and on getting to the scene they met the young baby in the pool of her blood while the parents watched helplessly.

...Sources said the parents were allegedly fighting and one of them attempted to stab the other with a knife only to wound the one month old baby girl.

Eyewitness told the Guardian that the parents were weeping when detectives came to arrest them.

You know I really feel so sorry for the parents, because I know they didn't intend to hurt their baby, but whenever parents have issues the children are hurt whether physically or emotionally.

I know its not easy but every day I am learning to avoid confrontations with my husband..some times I just want to kick him (really) but is it worth having my kids have a mental picture of their mum and dad fighting or trading insults.

I know of a couple where the wife started keeping a knife under her bed to defend herself from her husbnad violence. If it gets to that point a seperation is better to aviod irrepairable damage.

God help us.

Breastfeeding is best!

2008-05-13T17:12:00.000-07:00

Ok I know that sounds a bit corny but I am so passionate about mums breastfeeding. Check out http://www.breastfeedingroom.com/ and let me know what you think.

On my website I want to help mothers who want to breastfeed but have problems doing so. I also aim to dispel myths about breastfeeding such as " you can't breastfeed when pregnant" "you can't get pregnant when breastfeeding exclusively( I did!) and " kids that are not breastfed are olodos (hmm I wonder how I got through Law School)...lol.

Anyway feel free to visit my site and ask any questions. I am currently studying to be a Lactation Consultant and can also help with any questions concerning when babies have started eating solids and all of that.

God bless

shhhh! the kids are here

2008-04-30T01:24:00.000-07:00

I hardly ever saw my parents argue, not beacuse they didnt but because they had the good sense not to argue infront of us.
I and my husband on the other hand have been quite silly because we argue infront of them all the time. Of recent I started telling my husband to mind the kids, and his response has been " they dont understand"...which is quite absurd cus I know that I remember stuff from when I was 3 and my son is 4!.

Well last weekend we had another minor argument cus my and my 4yr old was there. Later that day this is what my son told me..

son: Daddy doesn't like you
mum: why do u say that
son: because he was abusing you..

I felt so bad..cus it wasn't even a real argument we diddnt use any ugly words..all I did was scold my husband for not keeping an eye on the baby (my 4 yr old had carried her out of her chair!)..and he started being defensive and all.. That was it Oh!

Abeg we all have to mind what we say around our kids they are more perceptive than we could ever imagine..

God bless

ps check out this great blog by daddy's girl

Beyonce and her daughter.

2008-04-28T02:09:00.000-07:00

A picture of beyonce and her daughter amarachi.

Ok its not the beyonce we all know its beyonce Iwuchukwu, from Utuh Anambra State. A friend of mine saw this picture in the village around mother's day and was like "hmm that lady looks familiar" lol!

talk shows and stuff.

2008-04-06T15:14:00.000-07:00

Something i have never been able to understand is why mo abudu airs her show only on mnet, well that is until now..NTA has started airing episode's of moments with mo, and I am looking forward to seeing it. Some people say she's an oprah wannabe while others say she has her own style and is doing a great job. Whatever the case maybe I look forward to watching the show...I never quite understood why it was only aired on cable..i mean even oprah started on her local Chicago stations.

Talking about shows, one show I have enjoyed is funmi iyandas show..the lady has been able to showcase everyday heroes among the common man as well as celebs. Aunty funmi abeg look for the lady that was on newsline last night..can't remember her name, but all I know is that shes a housewife who is currently putting 68 children through school. These children are complete strangers to her... just looking at her you can tell she is not married to a very wealthy man, but from her allowance she is touching lives, people like her should be celebrated.

On a final note my 4yr old told me I would have to have another baby girl..why? well he says he and his brother always fight over their sister so I should just leave this baby for him and have another girl, that way they wont fight over who can carry her or play with her..lol!

look at my hair!

2008-04-03T06:35:00.000-07:00

Thanks darkelcee..havent had internet access for a while(still dont have) but I am good.

Thanks for all the comments on my last post...I am trying to be extra watchful.

I am so impressed with how well my hair is doing..I cut it in june 2006 and decided to let it grow natural and ITS BEEN TOUGH! You guys natural hair is so crazy! you can barely do anything with it and sometimes combing is torture, but as it grows it gets easier. I now know how to comb it and what kind of products can help soften it, and with the way its growing I may never get another perm.

HELP!

2008-03-06T12:57:00.000-08:00

Abeg make una come help me oh! solomonsydelle, how do you do it? Its not easy with 3 small kids..even with help.

This morning i was in my room with my kids while their nanny was with the baby ( or so I thought)..next thing my almost 3yr old leaves my room and comes back in with what looks like powder on his face.."mummy I put powder"..I smiled at him and wondered to myself how he had gotten hold of the powder as I had tried to put it beyond his reach.Next thing i know the nanny is screaming...

Well the baby had fallen asleep so she put her in the crib and went to do something else. My son then went in got the Persil detergent all over the room and all over my babies face. Luckily she didn't wake up so i just cleaned her face and gave my son a stern warning not to play with detergent again.. I guess I was careless leaving the persil in her room and my son probably thought he was just putting powder on his sisters face.

The boys love their sister but they don't realise they have to handle her with care. My 4yr old is more careful but my almost 3yr old! he prods her, kisses her non stop ,has bitten her once (spanked him so he hasn't tried it again) squeezes her in the name of hugs and two days ago I caught him putting a pillow on her face!

I guess we just have to be more watchful.

God bless

Friends are hard to find!

2008-02-29T00:18:00.000-08:00

I can be really emotional and needy. I remember coming home as a child and crying to my mum" No one loves me mummy"...Over the years through the knowledge of Christ i have become much less needy but i still yearn for earthly friendships.

Of course my best friends are in my immediate family, but apart from them I often ask myself who really are my friends?. Its funny because people who "know" me will swear I have tons of friends, as I seem to know everyone, but knowing people and having friends are two different things.

My seeming lack of friends was even more apparent after I had my baby, as apart from family I didn't have too many other people around me (until days later). I think I just ask for too much..when people have babies I try and see them within that week...but some people who I regarded as friends saw baby for the first time on Sunday after 8 weeks, at her dedication. Like I said maybe I ask for too much.

The other day it was the birthday of a dear friend of mine(one of the few). Us her friends decided to have a surprise birthday and baby shower for her. It was really nice, two friends brought lovely cakes and we all brought food..she cried and was so moved. I thought to myself who would think of having a party for me outside my immediate family? no one ( well except A & T)I was so sad and a bit jealous..until i heard the toast given by one of the friends.." To H who has been a wonderful friend to us all"..Eureka! you can only attract good friends by being a good friend yourself.

The truth is that I know I am a very good friend, but God was just telling me to just be better only then can you attract the right friends.

Love

2008-02-14T04:03:00.000-08:00

Love is a beautiful thing"...goes the line of a popular song, and I totally agree. True love (not lust or infatuation) is truly a beautiful thing, and for me nothing paints the picture of true love more than seeing an old couple still holding hands and looking into each others eyes.

When i think of true love I think about my folks..now my parents aren't the type given to open displays of affection but you could just feel the love in the air when they were together. Whenever they were apart for long stretches my dad(of blessed memory) was always irritable and vice versa. They were truly devoted to one another for the 30 years they were together. I remember for their 31st anniversary my sister and decided to present them an album chronicling all their years together. Pictures from when they first met, their wedding day, the birth of children, graduations and birth of grandkids. It made them so happy to be reminded of all the love they had shared over those years.

Nowadays the word love had been bastardised, you hear some hollywood cuople tell the whole world how much they are in love and 1 year later they have divorced.Did I say hollywood couple? the phenomenon of divorce has become rampant even here in naija where you see a wedding on TV today and hear the couple are divorced a couple of years later.

I think one mistake alot of people make is that they equate love to material things..yes I agree no one can love without giving but people can give without loving. Just because some moneybag buys me a new car doen't mean he is more in love with me, with the working class guy who buys me a box of pizza.

Another couple that inspire me are my parents in law. Just a few weeks ago they celebrated their 39th year together. Now I know a lot of naija folks have been together for years but these two are truly in love...my m-i-l adores her husband and vice versa....while they were rembering all they past years my m-i-l made a comment about how she was so slim in those days and her husband smiled and said " dont worry honey your still slim in all the right places"..how sweet!

Later on that night he announced to everyone that he a gift to present to his wife. We all waited expecting to see him present her with jewellry or some other expensive gift (he had given her a sequoia for her 60th) , instead he gave her a single red rose.. very sweet!

Well this is wishing all of you a love filled valentines day.

Another great birthing experience!

2008-01-26T00:45:00.000-08:00

My daughter is 3 weeks now, and she just a darling. She is the most peaceful baby ever! I just Praise God! Well let me tell you the events that led her birth.

30th December- woke up and saw my show, tried not to get too excited because for my first child had my show 2 weeks before I went into labour. Anyway i decided not to go to church, mainly because I was tired of people asking me why the baby hadn't come (my Edd was 23rd Dec).

Later that day i felt some tightening of my tummy, but it was very irregular so decided to go for a walk, and visited a friend. At about midnight the tightening(contractions) were like 15minutes apart so I woke my husband up.."Its time".

We got to the hospital 30minutes later and when I told the receptionist I was in labour she just laughed and said "if na so labour be I claim it".When a doctor examined me she was surprised to see i was 5cm and in active labour.."madam u must have a high threshold for pain"..I told her I didn't it was just by Gods grace that i wasn't in pain.

I had told my mum I was in labour but didn't expect her to show up. Anyway because she had been there for my last birth (which lasted all of 30minutes) she thought this one was taking to long and at 3am when i was 8cm she urged the doctor to give me pitocin to speed up the labour. Through all this i was watching some movie with Chioma Chukwuka. Ladies that pitocin is something..I went from almost no pain to some crazy pain in 1 minute. It wasn't funny oh! (though i still managed to watch the movie between contractions lol!).

About an hour later at 4am i told the doctor I felt like pushing, it wasn't true though I was just tired of the pain. Anyway after some feeble attempts at pushing I told my doctor to get a vacuum extractor and on the 31st of December 4.50am my daughter was born!

It may not have been as easy as my other births but it wasn't bad! When they took her out to weigh her and all none of us knew whether it was a boy or girl. I had been told by 2 doctors that i was having a boy so we were expecting a boy but hoping for a girl.

My mum asked the doctor with hope boy or girl? he asked her to go and ask the pediatric nurses (naija!). She came back to the labour room screaming..Its a girl! its a girl! she ran and hugged my husband..I smiled beacuse deep inside I had felt it was a girl but didnt want to get my hopes up.

This was my first birth in naija, and though it wasn't anything like a US hospital it was great.

It's a Girl!

2008-01-03T12:39:00.000-08:00

OK i am so excited and now I can say yes mamalopes... baby don come! My Princess Olanna arrived at 4.50 am on the 31st of December weighing 3.6kg . Not only is my baby here, God gave me my hearts desire..A daughter! I love my boys and Praise God for them, but we needed a little more softness and sweetness in the house.

For me she was the perfect gift from God in the year 2007...I mean she erased all the pain and bitterness the year had previously held for me. God used my daughter to show that its not over till its over! I had given up on having her in 2007 but God had other plans.

You may not have gotten what you asked God for in 2007 but remember that he is always on time, and His Gifts are without repentance... Have a great 2008!

My wonderful birthing experience!

2007-12-27T23:50:00.000-08:00

No I haven't had the baby yet! baby is 4 days late and I am getting tired of going to bed every night thinking " by morning I would have had this baby".. Anyway in God's time I know I will have this baby very soon. The title is however prophetic as I know this childbirth will be easy. Amen!

While waiting for this baby I have read lots of stories about childbirth experiences...women who had bad experiences because of lousy hospital personnel, some had babies at home (because baby came very fast!), some had planned home births with midwives and some who had huge babies 11 lbs and more!.

They made me remember my own two miraculous experiences. Growing up my mum had always regaled us with her horrific childbirth experience...she never went into labour and had to be induced for all six of us. I was her biggest baby at 4.8kg and giving birth to me was especially traumatic for her and both she and the medical personnel were pretty sure she was going to die, so much that they had to send my dad to look for some non existent drug just so he wouldn't be there when she died. Needless to say she didn't die and went on to have 3 more children!

So anyway because of all my mums stories I prayed for a "supernatural childbirth" experience, especially after I read a book by that title. I ask God to bless me with a hitch free pregnancy and Hebrew woman style childbirth and he sure did!.

My first son was born on November 28th 2003

My Edd was Dec 1st and I looked forward to having a December baby. However, I woke up on the morning of November 28th and my water had broken..I excitedly had a bath and got dressed up then proceeded to take pictures with my husband and sis in law(was actually in her house) then had breakfast(mainly because I knew I wouldn't be allowed to eat once I got into hospital).

Got to hospital at about past 10 am and walked into the OB triage (where they put you in with other women to determine if you are actually in labour before transferring you to your private labour room). When I got in the nurse smiled " you can't be in labour, you look way too happy" however after she strapped me to all the machines she was like " oops your having super contractions" and I was immediately transferred to the labour room. Meanwhile I hadn't felt a thing!

My husband is a doctor so he started getting on my nerves by saying stuff like .."well you have at least another 6 hours of labour" I could have hit his head!.Between 12noon and 1pm I started feeling the contractions and the doctor started offering me an epidural...but the pain wasn't bad(I was gisting with my nurse and husband all through) and I didn't want an epidural. My main nurse was quite nice and told me how she had a 10lb baby without an epidural and greatly encouraged me. After about an hour of been pestered to take an epidural by the doctor I agreed to take some Demerol, which dulled the pain but quickly wore off. I asked for another shot of Demerol but by then my cervix was 10cm and I was fully dilated, so it was time to push.

At 2.14pm Chukwunonso Jeremy was born weighing 8lbs 11 ounces and promptly peed on me! It was a wonderful labour and my husband was happily surprised at how soon it ended.

For my second son the devil told me it wouldn't be so easy " second labours are always more painful, don't think you will have such a blissful experience next time" I got scared and started to panic. In fact it was just a few days to my labour that I was able to compose myself and cast away the spirit of fear. I proclaimed that the Glory of this labour would supersede that of the former.

My Edd was March 30th and it passed. I was getting impatient I went to see my Doctor on the morning of the 5th of April and he told me to come in to be induced the next day. I was a bit disappointed because I really didn't want to be induced. I spent the day shopping with my parents ( My dad was ill and they had come for a second opinion in US, little did I know it would be the last time I would spend with my dad before he really got ill and passed on) and got home really late. I prayed with them and told God that I didn't really want to be induced, and asked for his will to be done whatever it was.

Around 2:oo am nonso's cries woke me up. As I got up I noticed I was having contractions ..no pain but lots of pressure. I dressed up then woke up my parents,my mum took her time to get ready. When I hurried her up she told me to relax, "I am sure this isn't the real thing". No until she saw me go into the toilet twice to empty my bowel did she believe that something was happening. As we were about to leave my dad decided he wanted to come, none of us knew he was in alot of pain at the time. We left nonso with my brother and got to the hospital at 3.50am(mainly because mumsy was scared to go on the freeway and drove on the feeder all the way!) .

I took pictures with my folks and ran to the toilet again ..I was in no pain but just had some serious rectal pressure. I ran into the lift and left my dad to finish filling out my forms by the time I got to my labour room I knew the baby was almost out. The nurses called my doctor who had just driven home ,he said he wasn't going to come back so they should handle the delivery, I was over joyed as I didn't like him at all! I jumped onto the bed and with one push my precious baby was out.

Chiemelie Daniel was born weighing 7lbs 9oz on April 6th at 4:19, barely 30minutes after I walked into the hospital.

My mum was speechless and said that if she hadn't experienced it herself she would never have believed it. My Dad was also really excited as he had never witnessed any of his children being born , so it was really special for him to see a grandchild being born.

Everyone tells me how strong I am during pregnancy and labour but its just Gods Grace, and I pray that God bestows the same grace on any other mother who so desires it. Amen

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-24T12:40:00.000-08:00

Ok I have been an absentee blogger, its just that I don't think I have anything to blog about.

Well not exactly true alot has happened in the last few months but I guess I just got to lazy to write.I hope I shall improve in the New Year.

Right now I am just waiting for my baby to appear my edd has come and gone and I just pray that baby come asap! For those of you who have kids you know how the last week or so of pregnancy can be..everyone calls asking " u don born?" My m-i-l calls twice a day asking " any movement? has the baby come?". Meanwhile I am so ready for this baby to appear, at the same time I am not that ready, just got the babies stuff organised last week and still need a few things.

Anyway I just want to wish you all a Very Merry Christmas. God bless you all and grant you a prosperous New Year.

BOY or GIRL?

2007-10-09T01:33:00.000-07:00

That's the first question I always get when people see me tummy, "are you having a boy or girl? or I hope its a girl will be praying for you." When people ask if I am praying for a girl I always say no..why? well I am hoping for a girl but not praying cus at this point if its a boy no amount of prayer will change my baby boy into a girl.

Normally I don't bother checking the sex of my unborn baby but with this child the curiosity has been overwhelming, so I checked ... like 6 times!. The first four times the doctor was like sorry baby's legs are closed can't see anything. Of course when I told my mum she was like yes that means its a girl..ladies always close their legs. my mum in law (who wants me to have a girl more than I do) chastised me for even trying to check cus she has already seen me carrying a girl in one of her dreams.

However, what happened the 5th and 6th times left me confused, as one doctor saw a girl and the other one a boy! I am therefore back to square one, boy or girl?. I told my mum in law about the boy scan mainly because she had every time she saw me she kept on talking about "our baby girl"...when i told her she was devastated.." no don't say that confess positive not negative (lol) eh how can you say they saw a boy? its a mistake oh no but God gives us what we want it cant be a boy". I had to start comforting the poor woman. Who am I to complain about Gods blessings, when people are struggling to even conceive one baby?

At this point though I still hope its a girl, I don't care that much about it all I pray for is a healthy and happy baby!

Ettehgate!

2007-09-30T15:12:00.000-07:00

Nigerian journalists are just too funny sometimes. The way some of them have named this Etteh saga Ettehgate always brings a smile to my face.

Before I continue I would like to explain my long absence , my darlings I no get Internet for house. There is so much going on right now that its really not on my list of priorities, really free Internet was the only thing I enjoyed at my last job.

For those of you that don't know anything about the lady Hon. Patricia Etteh she is the Speaker of the House of Reps in Nigeria. Recently she was accused by her colleagues by awarding a frivolous contract for the renovation of her official residence (without following due process) for the sum of 628 million naira...imagine! Everyone wants the woman out and you can't blame them.

Recently after a probe the amount was discovered to be about 200 and something million (still an astoundingly high amount for renovation). In all this the woman in the middle of the controversy is trying to put up a brave face.

The truth is I saw all of this coming. I mean being speaker is no small thing and a lot of people have been jostling for that position. Even if Etteh had not been involved in this contract thing her opponents would have looked for something else to create a scandal and get her out. I know that before this contract thing came out her detractors were already putting out stories about her

not being married,
being a second wife,
having no biological children(she has adopted children),
having no university degree,
and being a "mere" hairdresser

Of course all of the above was not enough to create outrage in the polity and merely served as more gist for the gossip magazines. This contract thing therefore served as the perfect trap for Mrs Etteh, once money is mention money (especially in the light of how hard things are in this country) you get everyone's attention...now I don't want to believe she was the first speaker to award contracts without following due process, in fact I understand that all the past speakers did the same.

However what makes her stand out is the amount involved and the fact that she should have been aware of her many enemies.

Though she has messed up I believe she should be left alone, my husband thinks I am silly for not wanting her out, but really these men even do worse so if they remove her will they put a saint there. Anyway I may be wrong oh, but I wish her all the best.

Bad Breath!

2007-08-08T04:45:00.001-07:00

What do you do when someone close to you has breath issues. I mean I have made very few friends in Abuja but "A" is on of the best. Lovely personality, caring , giving, just a great person.

However, girlfriend has halitosis..i mean once she opens her mouth..BOOM! I have talked to her about it and bought her mouthwash but the boom goes on and on.

I dont know how her spouse and her cope but I guess he sees past that (just like I do). I just worry that its not good for her image..i wonder what people say behind her back. Do you guys know anything that I can recommend to "A" cus now that I am preggie my sense of smell is really keen and I avoid her(she doesnt know the real reason, she thinks I am just too tired to stop over at her place).

God bless you all

All for love!

2007-08-01T05:41:00.000-07:00

My people this is a true story and I know the people involved pretty well .

I will start with Kenneth, this is a guy I have known for at least 8 years, he came to live with a family in abuja as a steward and became part of the family.

Well last year he started dating the new help chi-chi . Soon enough his madam found out and Kenneth told her he wanted to marry chi chi. His madam had no problem with that but advised Kenneth to wait till he was on his own before he started talking about marriage, before madam could say jack robinson kenneth had moved out of his benefactors home and rented his own place so he could live with his wife to be.

..Fast forward...chi chi decides that she doesn't want Kenneth and moves on. Kenneth is heart broken and comes back home begging his madam for forgiveness.

Several months later my husband a doctor gets a call from madam saying Kenneth has gone mad. The boy goes round the house in the middle of the night screaming " Chi chi wants to kill me! she wants my man hood... Look at her ..look at her here...I rebuke you in the name of Jesus.. Please don't kill me....mummy , mummy (his madam) please forgive me I have sinned...Chichi leave my penis oh"

Poor madam she thought the guy had cerebral malaria, but after my husband saw him during the day he was fine. At night he continued his craziness for days..As soon as I heard I suggested they carry this boy to MFM (a church that focuses on deliverance). They took him to a few other doctors who just prescribed sedatives to calm him down.

Later on they found chichi who came to see Kenneth with her brother...she claimed that kenneth had done something wrong and he should confess. Lo and behold Kenneth admitted his guilt and said that he was so devastated when she left him that he visited a native doctor with her picture to do same jazz so she would come back to him.

Eventually Kenneth did go for deliverance , I saw him today and he is back to normal.. na wa what people do for love.

Baby makes five!

2007-07-13T03:23:00.000-07:00

hello people...lady A i missed u too!missed all my blog people!Now that I am resigning it means i will blog a little less until my husband gets our internet connection. I am still at work cus its one months notice or forfeit one months pay.I feel really flattered cus my ogas all called me to ask why I am leaving. One of them said it was a bombshell and that they were not happy cus I added some class to my establishment.(civil service can be dreary) ..The way the went on you could tell that they wished they was something they could do to make me stay.. Anyway i thank God..mumsy isn't happy aboutmy decision(she doesnt know the deeds been done already) but i know its for the best..especially with a new baby on the way. : )

Glad to be back!

2007-07-10T05:03:00.000-07:00

Yeah! it feels good to be blogging again..its been too long! Overwhelmed,Nyemoni and everyone else who wondered what was up with me, thanks for the concern. I was on leave from work and we don't have Internet connection(yet) at home.
Its funny i have been away from work for about 6 weeks and i didn't miss the office one bit. I may have missed a few of my colleagues but now I am sure I don't want to continue working here. As soon as i finish this entry I am going to talk to my boss and then turn in a very nicely written letter of resignation...God help me oh!
Last Saturday my older son was a page boy...he looked to cute, i have to get the picture and post it. The guy had been so excited all day , and when we finally got to the church he was petrified(lol). I guess he was kinda nervous because he had never met the couple or any one else on the train(the bride lives abroad). Anyway, I am glad to say that the boys are behaving better so thank God for that. However, I am bit sad cus my nanny says she will leave next April to join her fiance. I knew she wouldn't stay long but I was hoping to have her for like 3years, I am however glad she has given me a lot of notice so I will prayerfully start looking for a replacement before she leaves.
OK guys, lemme go see my Oga before he gets too busy.
God bless you all!

My boys.

2007-05-29T03:03:00.000-07:00

hello all! Hope you had a nice weekend, In naija we are still on holiday courtesy of the swearing in of our New President going on right now.

One thing that does give me a little concern are my two boys. They are really adorable and sweet, but man they can be a handful. I mean they can frustrate even the most patient person. I left them with my husband for two hours and when I got back he was like " Baby I no fit do nanny work, I was with these kids for two hours and I almost went crazy!"

I don't know why these boys don't even fear me small! Mrs somebody, omara and the other moms out there how do you discipline young kids?

I need some answers fast because these boys don see me finish. They climb everything climbable,shout on the top of their voices. My 3year old cries about having his bath every day..i mean every day even when I bath him! he always says he wasnts to change not bath and he is only happy when he has a bubble bath. The 2 year old is so head strong and believes everything is his. His latest now is that he insists on sleeping in our room and bawls until he has his way, and then he refuses to go to bed till like midnbight.They only keep still when they are watching cartoons, and now they watch too much TV!

I mean my 2yr old wakes up and the first words he says are " mummy I want to watch scooby doo". The poor nanny is extremely patient but i try to spend as much time with the boys as possible so she doesn't crack.

Suggestions anybody?

Conclusion

2007-05-28T08:06:00.000-07:00

Asma'u's mouth hung open, she couldn't believe what she was hearing. It just wasn't possible.

Asma'u-- "sssir...my mum told me..."
Tunde-- "your mum lied..I don't blame her you know, and that's why I have always played along. I myself didn't know until i meet you some years ago. One look at you and I knew you were not my child. I mean you have met my children they all have the Characteristic Aina features, you on the other hand neither look like me or anyone in your mums family, look how fair you are?."

"Look my dear I know this must be a great shock, just relax. The day after I met you I called your mum and told her my suspicions. At first she denied it, but Aisha has never been a good liar. I told her to tell you the truth, but she said it was none of my business and that was the last time we spoke till this whole wedding business came up. I am sorry but you deserve to know the truth. You are a lovely girl and I wish you and your fiance the best."

Asma'u was devastated.. she cried and ran out of tunde's office. It took her a while to relax and tell tobore what she had just learnt, he to was in shock but promised to stand with her and find her real dad.

When she returned to Sapele she confronted her mum.

Asma'u-- Mummy how could you.. deceive me all these years? who is my father.
Aisha-- Haba no greeting? what kind of question is that.
Asma'u- Mummy you know what I mean..I have just returned from Abuja. Tunde told me he is not my father, and i believe him. Mummy I demand the truth now!
Aisha-- Please calm down..I have told you that tunde is irresponsible..why did you go to see him?..please just calm down..
Asma'u-- Mummy if you ask me to calm down one my time I will really get mad..now I want the truth..

Aisha was faced with what she feared the most, she knew it was confession time. Asma'u was very understanding and told her mum how much she loved her and asked why she had hid the truth all these years. Aisha had heard from an old friend that John was a police man in Warri..so close!. Asm'a'u and tobi went to Warri the very next day, it wasn't hard to find him he was quite popular in police barracks in Effurun,Warri.

As soon as he saw Asma'u and she introduced herself as Aisha Sadah's daughter he embraced her.

John--"Nne I have prayed for this day, how is your mother?"
Asma'u-- You mean you have always known about me?
John--"Yes my daughter when your mother insisted on going back to her husband I gave up, but I always prayed that one day I would see you again.... Tochi! Ebele! come and meet someone"
This is your big sister I always told you about....eh nne what your name again? assma? ehhh anyway I have always prayed for you with the name i gave you onyinye"

Asma'u introduced tobore to her father, she was pleasantly surprised at her father warmness. In no time he had phoned a few of his relatives in town and bought drinks to celebrate "Onyinye".

John was a widower and was raising two daughters with the help of his unmarried sister. He told them that though he was a struggling officer he had no problem performing the wedding rites for his daughter. He urged them to spend the night in his small apartment but the politely refused, Asma'u couldn't wait to break the happy news, so they went straight to tobi's house.

Tobore' s mum-- "Ehyah very touching....so what exactly does this your real father do. .. ok Police he must be a high ranking officer after all these years... Ah just a -----na wa. and you say he if from where? ok, haven't heard that name before. Anyway welcome my daughter eh.. welcome let me go and rest inside. Eh tobi make i see you inside"

Once inside tobi's mum told her dear son to drop asma'u quick.." abeg which kain disgrace be dis after I don tell everyone you dey marry Deputy Speaker pikin! please the girl no say her papa be police officer she just dey pretend Na only fine she fine.Infact that girl fit get mammy water spirit see as her as hair long like oyibo. You know your my only son I no fit deceive you"

Unfortunately tobore was a mamas boy and asma'u immediately noticed he was behaving funny.A few days later things took a drastic turn.

Tobore-- Baby girl, you know I care about you, in fact you mean the world to me but we have to postpone the wedding
Asma'u-- postpone again..honey you know we have postponed it once already its better we just stick with this new date and get on with our lives.
Tobore-- Baby ..Ok let me just say it like this..I can't marry you again..its too complicated. I mean we can still be friends and all, but your family is too dysfunctional and my parents are scared it may affect our future...Please don't cry baby..its for the best just try and understand.

The end

Ok guys.. Asma'u's breakup with tobore made her sink into depression and she wasn't herself for years. Thank God she met a wonderful born again man who counselled her and they are now happily married with children.

Abeg you guys should excuse all my mistakes, as I am not much of a writer. Now let me digress aren't you all happy that TIMI won Idols West Africa. I know I am I wish you all the best.

part 2

2007-05-25T03:00:00.000-07:00

Aisha knew she couldn't hide it from her dad, why bother? Any man with children would easily recognise the early sign of pregnancy. He had already started asking her questions about her constant tiredness and lack of appetite. For a fleeting momenmt she thought about an abortion, but quickly remembered how many times tunde her taunted her over her "bareness" and decided she would carry the baby. She summoned courage to tell her father.

Aisha-- Baba I have something to tell you...its about ..i think I ...em em ..Baba I think I am pregnant.

Baba- Alhamdu lilah! Allah be praised! God has answered all our prayers..We must inform your husband at once, if this won't make him come nothing will. Have you told your sisters yet? they will be so excited...I have too.

Aisha-- baba its not tunde's child.

Baba- Kai! Allah what kind of child did you give me? Aisha do you want to kill me eh? Jamila and Nabila are so peaceful why must you be so wayward?...(ponders) you must tell tunde its his child, thats the only way out....Ah Mama Aisha, she would know what to do.. Eh or I have this friend in the dispensary maybe he can help us....he is

Aisha-- Baba how can you suggest such. I will carry this child oh..I swear I would rather die than loose this baby. Besided John wants to marry me he is the father!

Baba-- aisha you must think i am a fool, just because i allowed you marry that Bayrabe you think i will let you marry an Igbo boy? Besides he is not even a muslim and tunde has not divorced yet...please aisha my chest pain has started again, don't let me hear that Johns name again. Tunde will come for you.

Eventually Aisha decided to play along with her dad, tunde was informed and as predicted he rushed to see them in Maiduguri.

Meanwhile, John knew it was his child but what could he do? Aisha denied it and to please her ailing father reluctantly went back to tunde.

What a mistake! tunde continued to beat her throughout the pregnancy and after one particularly bad episode Aisha contacted her mums sister in sapele, who agreed to take her in.
She left tunde a note one early harmattan morning and took a bus to the motor pack, she spent the night in warri and arrived sapele early the next day. Her aunt mama Akpos had also been rebellious and eloped with her Urhobo boyfriend. She had never quite reconciled with her family and was now a prosperous stockfish wholesaler in Sapele.

Aisha gave birth to a beautiful baby girl who she named Asma'u after her later mother. She was a splitting image of her father. Life with Mama Akpos and her family was good for Aisha, soon after she gave birth to Asma'u her aunt made her a major distributor of her stockfish. Her cousins helped with the baby and she soon put her past misfortunes behind her. She kept in touch with her family and before her Dad passed on a few years later she took asma'u to meet him.

Asma'u grew up into a lovely young lady and excelled in her studys.She grew up with her cousins and though she knew tunde Aina was her biological father,as far as she was concerned ,Papa akpos was her daddy. She wrote her "dad" letters but he never replied them, she often wondered why he didn't want to have any contact with her.

asma'u-- mummy na wa oh! dis ma papa no even send me oh!

aisha-- ahah ..papa akpos has been a wonderful father, what else could want from him, the man don try..nobody go no say.

asma'u-- mummy u know no be daddy i mean, na ma real papa tunde..why the man no send me? I wan go meet am..

aisha-- please dont be stubborn about it, the man is no good, just let him be

Asma'u eventualy got tunde's number and began to call him regulary. he never called her back but asma'u was just happy to know that she had finally made contact with her real father.

After University she joined her mum in her business and it wasn't long before she met and fell in love with Tobore. Asma'u had become more urhobo than anything and tobore's family fell instantly in love. She had never taken her islam serious and often went to church with her cousin, so becoming a christian met nothing to her. Aisha was elated Tobore was an eligible young man from a great family.

Asma'u and her mum went to Dubai to shop for the wedding. Months became weeks and preparations were in full gear. However a phone call changed everything.

Aisha-- Hello,ah my in law..how u dey? how chief?

Tobore's mum-- Oh we are fine darling. you know just arrived from chicago and tobi showed me the invites

Aisha--Yes, they are lovely we picked them in dubai..very unique

Tobore's mum--hmm yes, but theres a problem ..you see i noticed that the traditional wedding will take place at your uncle's(papa akpos) house. That won't do at all.I mean can't you get asma'u dad to arrange for it in his house?

Aisha-- ah in-law you know my uncle is more or less her father, I haven't been in touch with her dad in years I am not sure it will be appropriate,, infact asma'u has only met him once.

Tobore's mum-- Eh you know I have contacts I hear he is in Abuja, you didnt even tell me he was an honourable. Papa Akpos should know better, I mean it an abomination for someone else to give away a child when her father is still alive.

Aisha-- My in law,why are you talking like this now eh. Ok I will try and get tunde's number and contact him...oh you already have the number? please text it to me ..thank you

Aisha contacted tunde who of course refused to have anything to do with asma'u wedding. Tobore's family said that they the wedding couldn't go on.The wedding was temporarily postponed, Asma'u grew desperate and her and Tobore decided to go and visit her Father in Abuja.

Tunde-- Eh asma'u how are you..eh its good you came, how are you young man... Well firstly i think we need to talk in private so your fiance will have to excuse us.(Tobore goes to wait in the lobby)

Asma'u-- Kneeling down , please sir I know you and my mum can't stand each other but for my sake please just do the traditional engagement.

Tunde-- I can't ..dammit I told your mum to tell you the truth but since she won't I will..Asma'u I am not your father!

PS.ok..thought I would finish today but i gotta go do school runs..will finish on monday.stay blesses

A Short Story.

2007-05-24T03:12:00.000-07:00

Its true that once you are parent you cease to be self centred (or at least try to). I know we all have our lives to live but you can't help but think how our actions can affect the well being of our children.

For example I had this aunt in England who was seriously overweight and as a result of her health problems decided to have one child. Now, that was one unhappy child who was always teased and bullied by her classmates over her mums weight..(Mrs Somebody you think naija kids are bad try british school children, cruel). At one point she begged her mum to stop coming to pick her as it was causing her so much distress. The little girl also started lying to friends that she had a baby sister, because she just felt odd as an only child.

Now, on to the main story. This is based on a true story and inspired by Daddy's Girl blog.

Aisha was a wild child of the 60's , extremely independent and always wanted to have her way irrespective of who got hurt in the process. As soon as she got her WASC (or whatever they called it back then)she left home and got her own place in the city. This upset her dad who being a single parent needed her help and extra income in bringing up her younger siblings. "it's my money if i want to use it to pay rent then its my business" she told her dad when he protested.

Before long she had fallen in love with Tunde an older man and before anyone could blink she had moved in with him. When her dad found out he was livid, trust aisha she couldn't be bothered

Aisha--" Daddy I love him and thats all that matters"...
Daddy-- " but your not married, this is abominable why do you insist in disgracing your whole famil,Ahh your mum will turn in her grave"..
Aisha-- :" Abeg Baba leave mama out of this, tunde will come and see you he is a nice man and he wants to marry me"

Just like Aisha said Tunde came to see her dad and asked for her hand in marriage, he however came alone. Baba Aisha wasn't impressed "what kind of man comes to meet his in laws without a single family member? he can't be a good person" he concluded.Baba Aisha complained about this to his late wife's family, they agreed with him but at the same time advised him to accept tunde as people where already talking and it would even be worse if aisha got pregnant out of wedlock.

Baba Aisha reluctantly agreed to the marriage, unknown to him aisha and tunde had a fiery relationship. Tunde was abusive and though he showered aisha with gifts he also beat her mercilessly. Of course Aisha kept this beating to herself, when she came to see her sisters she showed off all the jewellry and exotic gifts her husband had given her. Her sister may have been young but they were not stupid, Jamila especially had a keen eye and had noticed the bruises and swelling on Aisha's fair skin, also the fact that aisha permanently wore sunglasses worried Jamila.

Jamila-- Abeg aisha remove these your glasses, na wa because your married i no fit see your eye again..remove jare.
Aisha-- dont you know what my eyes look like? just tell me you want a pair and tunde will buy you one on his next trip to lagos.
Jamila-- abegi make i see jo.you too dey pose!(with that she snatched off aisha's glasses).Subha la llah! (Gracious God) aisha whats this, who did this to you.. Baba!
Aisha-- shush..keep quiet, what do you know about men? its because he loves me that he beats me ..if you tell Baba i will stop giving you my old clothes!

Anyway Baba was told and ordered his daughter home. She refused and decided to move away from Maiduguri to kaduna (where tunde did alot of business)..she needed to be as far from her meddling family as possible.

The beating continued in Minna and grew more violent. The fact that she didnt get pregnant immediately also earned her more beatings. To add insult to injury she discovered that tunde had another Wife and a child in Kaduna. She was a yoruba lady from a prominent family and was obviously getting a better deal.

After 3 years of marriage with a slight limp( result of tunde throwing her down the stairs) and low self esteem tunde kicked her out. His business was dwindling and he couldnt afford the luxury of maintaining two wives especially a barren and disfigured one.

Aisha returned home like a prodigal daughter and her Dad welcomed her back with open arms.On her return she met a new neighbour John Nwachukwu (who was incidentally tunde's old school mate) a very handsome young man. Within days she was smitten and before long had started an intimate relationship with John. Her Father called her:

Baba Aisha- Aisha my daughter remember you are still married. what are you doing with that nyamiri man? Please I have tried to be an understanding father, just be patient i have sent for your husband and i am sure he will soon come for you.
Aisha-- come for who? Baba I will never go back to that monster. besides I have nothing to loose I am a barren woman and I prefer to just stay here and look after you. Don't worry about John we are just friends

However Aisha was in for a rude shock when she missed her period that month.

..TO BE CONTINUED

Urghh!!

2007-05-18T07:48:00.000-07:00

Ok...it's me and my woes again. Have I told you guys about my job? well I work for a govt. establishment. I am a lawyer but of course they decided to put me in the policy department. What do I do? well not much. I have some busy days, but usually I spend my working hours blogging (Thank God for blogger!) or when I can, I shuttle between my office and my tailoring shop.

When i just started work it was easy for me to be away from work and stay with my tailors, attending to clients, after a while leaving work involved lying or getting into trouble with the boss. Luckily the house i moved to last year had a bq so i moved my tailors there. It made it easier cus I didnt have to make an excuse to leave work, I could attend to my tailors/customers once I dropped my kids at home or close from work.

So, whats my problem? well I still don't have enough time for my shop so its at the mercies of my tailors. They commited all sort of atrocities while they were in a rented shop, so of course when they moved to my bq their illegal runs were reduced. One of my tailors had been destroying people's clothes so I had to sack him and manage with only one tailor. Now anyone in tailoring knows you can't work with one tailor, so I have been searching for other tailors to employ. I just got two (who arent that good) and are insisting I accomodate them 'cus my house is far. Its just so stressful running a business when your never around.Today I just got home and my shop girl told my that my lone tailor had left the shop angrily around noon and that a friend of his had called her saying that my tailor wanted to leave. In other words I may have no tailors, meanwhile fabrics are piled up.

I want to just quit my job and focus on my designing and tailoring, cus it gives me so much more fufilment and flexibility. However being a lawyer and all everyone in myfamily thinks I am crazy and that I should just keep my sewing as an hobby and focus on paid (peanuts) employment.Meanwhile My job is so annoying on a good day I write some dry memo or conduct some daft assesment.

Anyway, I will just quietly resign when I am tired. The job just annoys me to no end. 2plus2 I still want that internship oh! At least when i resign i will be able to do something meaningful in addition to nurturing mybusiness. In fact I am thinking of forgetting about the LLM i want to pursue and instead do some fashion courses.

I hope you all enjoy what your doing, because believe me this life is too short to be stuck doing something you hate. Have a blessed week.

PS. I DON'T KNOW WHY COMMENTS CAN'T BE POSTED ON THIS POST I HAVEN'T DISABLED MY COMMENTS OR ANYTHING, IF YOU HAVE ANY COMMENTS LEAVE THEM ON THE PREVIOUS POST "HELLO" AND LABEL URGHH..LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR COMMENTS

Hello!

2007-05-14T07:31:00.000-07:00

lol! still laughing at omara's comment about "all the intense people"... anyway my husband attended a meeting with the intense people while in SA.

I haven't been well so wasn't able to post anything for a while. I had this boil of gigantic proportions sitting above my lip. It was grotesque, and I looked like one of the witches from macbeth. It made half of my lip swell up and just as my lip started going down my left nostril started expanding, and I discovered another boil there!

Through my ordeal one thing that touched me was how my kids ignored how awful I looked and loved me. Meanwhile the first time my husband saw my lip he looked at me "one kain" and said
" whats wrong with your face? " don't mind me he was actually nice, though he insisted on inflicting pain by making an incision and forcefully pressing the boil.." no pain no gain". Anyway, glad that is all over.

My mums sister said she wants to take lois to live with her, so I am glad she wont be left in the village. I was however a bit pissed off when she told my mum that she doesnt want to wait for her dads burial (this thursday) cus if she stays it will reduce her chances of coming back to live with me. God just give that girl some good sense, anyway I trust My aunty Ngozi she's a tough old lady and will force good sense into her. Like omara said the kids are forgetting about her already and since she will be with family we will always see her.

I wish I knew what has happened to that magun couple. I hope man and wife are able to reconcile and put the ugly incident behind them.

The Elections have come and gone, with talk about rigging, no voting e.t.c. One thing however that makes me smile is the fact that Dr. Mrs Ali did not become a Senator. Why does it make me smile? well because here is a woman with no political structure or experience and just because her husband is PDP Chairman decided she must become a Senator. Her husband made sure she emerged the party candidate when she didnt even appear at the primaries, and people had already started addressing her as Madam Senator, but thankfully she didnt win the elections.

Ok let me do some work. Have a blessed week everyone.

PS. whats your take about the whole AKON/dinah saga? I feel sorry for the girl, she probably enjoyed it and felt embarassed after seeing herself online.Poor girl, i hope other young girls learn from her experience.

More on My South African Trip.

2007-04-30T04:13:00.000-07:00

Well, apart from seeing South Africa i met alot of interesting Nigerians and Non- Nigerians. Let me tell you about some of them.

Pastor James Wuye(the guy in a blue and brown babariga)- This guy works with Imam Ashafa on inter-religious conflict resolution. James had lost his right hand in an attack on Christians and this spurred him on to join a christian militia group who attacked rival muslim militants one of which Imam Ashafa. Everyone knows about the Zango kataf riots where 100's of Christians were killed, well alot of muslims were also attacked in retaliation and Imam Ashafa lost his brother and mentor. Needless to say these men both had an intense hatred for each other.

Miraculously they have been able to put the need for vengeance behind them and are now channeling their passions positively.Pastor James confessed that it took time for him to trust Imam Ashafa and on numerous occassions he thought about suffocating him while alseep.

Pastor james has been accused by some of his brethren as having backslidden and there is a fatwa Iman Ashafas head as some of his own brethren believe he has sold out.Today they travel together preaching peace and dialogue.

Iheoma Obibi- She runs Alliances for Africa. This woman is a feminist to the core, she thought i was crazy when I told her i married at 23. "what on earth where you thinking !" lol. She is a true embodiment of a strong African woman who is not afraid to speak her mind. She is happily married and living proof that you can still have a strong marriage and stand up for what you believe in. Iheoma is outspoken and gifted writter and I learnt alot from her within a few days.

Now I can't talk about her without mentioning the vivacious Lesley Agams- She is Ashoka's(An International Donor Agency) Country Director. Also a feminist she spent her early years raising her two sons , and later worked with women and children involved in rape and violent crimes, before her present appointment.

Isaac Durojaiye "Mr Shit"- MD of DMT Mobile Toilets. Funny guy he is the largest manufacturer of mobile toilets in West Africa. This former bodyguard is making sure that every public school in lagos has adequate toilet facilities.

Mama Veronica- This elderly South African lady has been in the forefront of creating awareness of the HIV pandemic in Africa. With a lot of persistence and determination she started home care services for people affected by the virus. Her model has now been replicated all over South Africa and the world.She now works with a white south african man and through him is passing on her ideas to the next generation, remarkable woman.

Agatha Chukwueke-Nnaji- Pleasant and quite charming. She has an NGO in Nigeria where she trains and equips houshelps for life after service.She started it after seeing how some domestic helps received so much abuse from their employers and were sacked after years of service. A lot of these girls and boys had no skills to survive after life "Oga and Madam" so she teachs them skills that will enable them work in the hospitality sector.

Baart-"the rat man" This man from Holland has made Tanzania his home. He has trained rats to detect landmines in war ravaged areas and detect early signs of cancer. Please don't ask me how.

The list goes on and on. It was fun to rub minds with ordinary people doing extra-ordinary things.

Back at home I sent lois home a month ago and I think I did the right thing. We are all happier and more comfortable with this new nanny. Nonso however does ask about her and says stuff like" oh i will show this picture to lois when she comes back' which shows he misses her.

Yesterday the new girl is begged me to bring her back,why? well for one she wants company and secondly lois's dad just died a few days ago. Very sad 'cus he was a good man and was the only reason i considered not sending lois home.He lived opposite us in the village and was always willing to help whenever we came home. Very hardworking and good natured. How did he die? well an expressway was just constructed near my village and its been killing lots of people from my town as cars drive too fast and villager cross a bit carelessly(not being used to cars driving that fast). Its so sad how something that should bring development to a community has brought so much pain. My his soul Rest in Peace and May God bring succour to his family.

magun.

2007-04-24T05:27:00.000-07:00

ok i just had to share this story really quick. Remember i wrote a post on infidelity a few week ago? well just today i heard an interesting story on infidelity.

Apparentely there is this police officer in masaka (outkirts of abuja) who has been having an affair with a junior police officers wife. When the junior officer found out (from neighbours) he confronted his wife who denied the allegation, he also went ahead to report to his mother in law who also supported her daughter and insulted her son in law. The stories continued and so the junior officer went to see a babalawo who made some charms popularly known as magun by the yorubas.

Anyway senior officer and his lover were both at it yesterday and when they tried to separate they couldn't! When they shouted for help their neighbours covered them with a wrapper and put them in a wheel barrow , knowing it wasn't anything medical they took them to the police station( I'm guessing because two police men are involved).A guy from my office said he actually went to see the couple who are now "stuck" together, infact people have been coming from all over to catch a glimpse of the adulterous couple.

The junior officer has said that they will remain stuck together until his mother in law comes and sees her daughter with her own eyes. NA WA!

Glad to be home!

2007-04-23T02:48:00.000-07:00

My husband and I just got back from a one week trip to S.A and while it was loads of fun I am so happy to home.I especially missing my blog pals as the internet acces was bad in our resort.

It was a good trip we stayed in Heia safari ranch, which is in one village called mulderdrift.As the name implies its a ranch so we were living with zebras, giraffes, deer and wildebeest(buffalo)..it was really cool!. The over 1000 hectares ranch is owned by an elderly Afrikaaner man and apart from the animals that we mingled with we were able to see his wild monkeys,different variety of antelopes,hippos,rhinos,ostriches e.t.c...it was so beautiful to see animals free in their natural environment. Meanwhile the guy just built two decent houses for himself and his daughter on the property..dat na oyibo for you..if na african man he for don sell the whole land and build mansion everywhere. I will try and post some pictures from the trip.

Those of you who have been to S.A know how developed and lovely it is but i thank God for naija. I wouldn't exchange that for being a South african at all. I mean the most of the black people are uneducated,poor and have the whole ghetto mentality. I guess that can be attributed to years of aparthied....

Man the black race has suffered oh, I went to the aparthied museum and I was outraged. the minority white made the black man 3rd class citizens in his own land(the indians and coloured were 2nd class) in their own country. They minority white owned about 92% of all the Land in South Africa while the coloured and blacks were left with 8%!. Infact its a common saying that " the white man came with their bible to our land, now we have their bible and they have our land". In the musuem we watched the Afrikaans(white) leaders explaining aparthied to the world as "being good neighbours". It was worse than living in the segregated south..

and even more painful since this was their country, I can't explain the images I saw at that musuem but what I can say is taht every one needs to visit that musuem and then thank God that you were born, in a country with scorching heat, pesky mosquitoes and no precious resources (remeber the white man didnt know we had oil back then). South Africa is cold and the discovery of Gold made Dutch and Englich men rush there in their thousands. Even though Aparthied started officially in 1948 it existed in theory as soon after the Dutch came in , and even fight over who would control south Africa.

Infact today there is a town called Orania in South Africa founded by children of one of the architects of Aparthied where only Afrikaaner people live no black or coloured person is allowed to live or work their. In their own opinion races should not mix and they support ideas of putting up signs such as the one on the right which is from a durban beach in 1989 it says "Under section ......... this bathing beach is reserved for the sole use of the members of the white race group". Such signs where popular all over aparthied South Africa.

Under Aparthied the Afrikaaner Government tried to limit the education of the Black Africans to only four year of basic (poor) education. They didnt want to empower the Africans who were more in number.

They were not allowed to live is the big cities like Jo'burg and were only given contracts to come and work for the white people for periods of one year or 18months, during this period the Blacks workers were not allowed to see their families. There lived in tiny rooms, slept on shelf like beds and were served nonsense. Infact many domestic servants longed for the food that was given to the dogs they walked.

I thank God that FW De Klerk had to the sense to negotiate with ANC, free Aparthied prisoners, and conduct the first proper democratic elections. Before him the blacks were not allowed to vote in a democratic setting.

The racial lines have been erased but there are still faint. It is still hard for a black man to get a job in todays South Africa. A lot of blacks are doing well but the majority are still stuck in the aparthied mentality. I met a few who have however been able to shake off the negative mindset and are doing well in a new South Africa, as one lady i met put it " even if we spoil our country its ok and its better than being a second class citizen in your own country.

The Nigerians there seem to be doing ok, but the drug boys have given us a bad name. When I told a cab man I was Nigerian he said " I must be careful then because you guys can steal milk out of tea". That our reputation is bad goes without saying so I wasn't suprised by his comment. Infact my cousin who lives there once received a letter from a company he applied to saying " sorry but we do not employ nigerians". I was however happy when a kenyan lady i met said she loved Nigerians.."Nigerians are great...so hardworking.. i just love them".

Anyways I am glad to be home, missed our stew and soups so much. When we were about to land we were told that we may have to land in cotonou as the lagos airport was closed. Later we heard that it was because their was to be a presidential movement. Is that normal? in other country's is the airport closed when the head of state is about to take off or arrive? Have a blessed week everyone.

Husbands & Handbags

2007-04-11T02:39:00.001-07:00

No..I ain't talking about the latest gucci or chloe purse...Let me refer you to Naija Dictionary for beginners
..Handbag (hănd'băg') pronunciation
n.
1. A woman that a man picks up at a party or wherever
2. A woman that a man takes to a party or wherever

NOTE: This woman is never one's spouse or steady girlfriend just a girl on the side.

I mean the whole thing is getting annoying.You see a man enter a club and he leaves with a handbag for an unknown destination. the more stories I hear the more disgusted I get recently I heard about an Abuja "big boy" (thats what they call popular guys) who went to a club with 2 handbags(I guess he was planning a menage a trois..lol i know i spelt it wrong)...anyways his fiancee's sister was also there and called her sister to come and see how her husband to be was fooling around with these young girls. The fiancee also a "big girl" stormed into the club..and asked her husband what he was doing with these whores.,as soon as she said that one of the girls got up and gave the girls a hot slap..”who you calling a whore you bitch”. You could have heard a a pin drop in the bar, The whole bar grew quiet and everyone waited to see what the assaulted lady’s man would do.. The guy stood up and told his handbag to take it easy and then looked at the girl he was going to marry in about a month and said “ why did you come here to allow yourself be messed up, go home and wait for me” ..they exchanged a few words but eventually she left with her head tucked under her wing..Guess what they still got married and the pictures where all over several naija mags..

A few years ago "bigmans" son and "bigmans" daughter got married it was a massive wedding..The next week thieves went to the house and beat up the new bride, where was her husband? Rocking a popular lagos club. I know several couples who rocked with their husbands while they were still dating but once they marry they sneak out and they leave madam at home..why? I mean some of these wives are hot(cus some mean give the daft excuse that their wives have added to much weight and so on) and anyone would be proud to take them anywhere ..but they must stay at home…while oga looks for anythor babe to rock, A friend of mine tried clubbing with her husband and he kept on giving her excuse..one day he just blurted out “ I can’t do it..i mean you’re my wife..the mother of my kids I cant take you to a club” she was shocked ..”but we always went clubbing together” husband: “ it was different then u were my babe now you’re my wife.” .. Me I don’t get that ,do you?

Just recently my friend in the States told me what happened to one of the Nigerian big boys in her area.. He was one of the upwardly mobile guys in town and quite popular. He got married to a quiet girl he met in church., after a few weeks of marriage she took in and that was the beginning of the end.. he stopped spending time with her and never took her out..his excuse ‘ I don’t want you to go out cus it may affect the babies (they were expecting multiples)”.When the babies were born it was even worse..he complained about their incessant crying and went out at night to have some “peace”.. One night he never came home … you see he was in bed with his Jamaican girlfriend when a guy who claimed to be her boyfriend stormed in and killed him right there.. As`if that wasn’t bad enough his wife found out the jamo girl was pregnant for her late husband.

Another guy a know was sleeping with his wifes friend right under their roof. No one suspected anything because the girl was pretty close to his wife and at a point had even lived with the couple.

I mean I could go on and on the stories are just to much…some of them just have flings with these girls while some of them get hooked and have long term affairs. Like my family friend who was in the habit of changing handbags.He always told the girls that he loved his wife and daughter to bits and was just looking for fun. A few years ago he met moni* now this girl knew he was a good catch and went to her juju man for some help. Today moni is pregnant and his wife who just found out is threatening to leave with their daughter.

The average Nigerian woman expects her husband to cheat, just before I got married a male family friend told me to accept that my husband would have affairs..."chioma you women expect us to have affairs but get angry when we do, just accept it because every normal man will have flings". I don't agree and I don't accept infidelity. As far as I am concerned it is very possible(may be hard but possible) not to cheat on your wife. Just last week we were talking about polygamy in my office when someone said it was better for men to marry their girlfriends rather than keep them outside. Mr Acha, a born- again christian said he disagreed as he personally hadn't slept with anyone apart from his wife in their 12 marriage. According to him " she doesnt quite believe me, but I am not doing it just for her I am also protecting myself (spiritually and phyically) from the moment i got married i made up my life to remain faithful to her after all what can anyone else give me that she can't?

However the number of 'born-again" men (and women) having affairs is astounding. At a couples retreat a few years ago one married man who came alone asked the pastor " please sir can you tell me practically how i can stay faithful to my wife, because I just can't seem to stay away from these small girls". Another young man complained how an elderly client of his (works in a bank)was offering him a large amount money to start an affair with her, meanwhile him and his wife were having accomodation problems.

Alot of people talk about the 10year itch when men start to stray..today what we have is the one week itch. People have parties and if you bring your wife there you look foolish cus everyone has a handbag, so the next time theres a party you tell your missus your just going to watch a match at diran's house, then you give your latest acquisition a call.."hello babes will pick you up in 10mins"

*not real names

I got some new shirts!

2007-04-10T02:00:00.000-07:00

Was pleasantly surprised recently, have you heard about Davida? She a topnotch shirtmaker in naija..our very own Thomas pink. Her shirts are however quite feminine and lovely. Let me see if she has any shirts online….hmm strange she doesn’t even seem to have a website but they look a bit like nara camacie shirts but much nicer.

Well my co wife (don’t worry my husband isn’t polygamous, my brother in laws wife) and her big sister, wanted us to go to a Davida show.. I wasn’t really keen ‘cus I knew I couldn’t afford any shirts. I mean it would be almost irresponsible in the face of so many other commitments and limited resources... I told them I would go just to look. ..Once we got there I saw so many lovely shirts, that Davida sure can design and her finishing is superb!
My sisters in laws (never know how to describe them) were busy picking. I immediately started feeling bad. I mean it’s so annoying when you see stuff you like and can’t even buy one. For some reason I called my husband and told him to pass through the venue of the show (close to my house) on his way home. Why? Just come it’s on your way. I told my sister in laws I would be on my way home soon... “chioma ah ah the show hasn’t even started? “ A beg let me go attend to the kids plus it’s not like I am buying anything”. I decided I would just wait for my husband and leave.

When he came I felt silly for asking him to come. It was full of women and what did I really want him to do? Go and get money so I could go on a spree? Meanwhile we had to be a generator and prepare for our S.A trip. I met him outside and told him not to worry as I was a woman’s thing and I knew he was busy. I went upstairs and was looking at some shirts my friend E wanted when I heard her say hello to someone. Next thing I heard was my husband’s voice.
Husband - E how now , my wife has set me up oh! These shirts look nice oh”
Me - Oh I thought you had gone.”/
I saw him looking through his wallet
Husband“ Let me see if I can buy you one, oh baby sorry I don’t have enough here”
Me- “ oh don’t worry I just wanted to see you(yeah right!) I am leaving soon, they will always be other shows!” “
Husband- “ I actually have some money downstairs come and collect it” ..

I went downstairs and my husband gave me enough for 2 or 3 shirts. God you are so awesome I mean I would have been happy with 1 and here I was with enough for at least 2 shirts. What amazed me even more was that I didn’t even ask my husband for money. I know some of you may be saying “ please why is this girl making noise over shirts that cost ten or at most fifteen thousand? Na una sabi oh to me it was a big deal. I went there not expecting anything, hoping for 1 shirt and left with 2 ! I think that a big deal and I praise God for it.

Later at night we went out and i wore one of the shirts, I know I looked fabulous, all the other married guy’s left their wives at home and came with their handbags (or at least planned to leave with one). I mean what’s it with young married men these days? Even the supposedly born-again ones seem to be messing around, anyway that’s a topic for another day. , You could tell some of them were like “ ol boy why you bring your wife come this place, we no fit mess around freely “ lol.
We had a great time and came home to an empty house –the boys were with Grandma,Yipee!

*handbags--babes

Man’s Inhumanity to man.

2007-04-02T14:02:00.000-07:00

Just last week I was reading a post by daddy’s girl about jungle justice in Lagos.
Having grown up in lagos I could totally relate to that post, though I lived on the island I had relatives in Ajegunle and mushin who regaled me with tales of criminals being burnt to death (jungle justice) , infact there was this incident where a thief was forced to drink battery acid! Kai!.

I was however totally shocked when I heard about the senseless killing of Mrs Christianah Oluwatoyin Oluwaseesin by some Muslim secondary school students last week in Gombe State. Now I know a few of you are wondering where Gombe is , its one of newer states in Northern Nigerian and was carved out mof the old borno State.
According to the deceased’s husband Mr Micheal Oluwaseesin who was out of town when the unfortunate incident occurred.” According to what I gathered (from witnesses),it was the final day of the second term examinations in the school and my wife was invigilating Islamic Religion. A student was passing an Islamic inscription(expo) to another student.She caught them ,took the material from them and threw it outside and that ignited thw whole thing”
\
After the exam the students started chasing her , she phoned in saying there was some trouble in school.The students eventually caught her, beat her, stabbed her and burnt her to death. The murderers went on to burn her body.

What was her crime? The students say she desecrated the Holy Koran by throwing away the piece of paper with an Islamic inscription on it. According to he rhusband she was’t a very popular teacher because she was very upright and didn’t tolerate cheating and other immoral behaviour unlike most of her collegues.(A number of Nigerian teachers actually write exams for students).

I mean how can a group of teenange boys be so inhumane? And what always peeves me is how people commit atrocities in the name of Islam, I have muslim relatives and I doubt that the Holy Koran will support such violence, but again and again we hear of these stories.

I think Islamic leaders have to embark on a series sensitisation against violence….they have to tell their youth that Allah does not approve of such insanity.

From the deceased’s name she is Yoruba. I know that when something similar happened to an Igbo man some years ago…Igbo in the east starting killing Muslims in their midst (how sad). Mr Oluwaseesin himself confessed to looking for carrying kerosene so he could have burnt the first muslim he set his eyes on. Thankfully he was stopped by his friends. I shudder to think what would have happened if he had tried to retaliate ..state wide mutiny.

Every body say a little prayer for the family of late toyin especially the two young children- a three and one year old.

Braiding my hair.(dry title)

2007-04-02T13:43:00.000-07:00

“Aunty keep ya head” I am braiding my hair at a popular Abuja saloon, brought my laptop to relieve boredom plus I think making hair is such a waste a time that you just have to the maximise it by doing something else, so here I am writing some new posts.

I hate making my hair, that’s one of the reasons I cut my hair last year. I just hate going to a saloon and having to wait hours before your turn. Rubbish! Also I hated that hair dryer,.ahah ,it must have been an angry man that invented it..its just punishment. When I even had a perm I would just go to one small unknown saloon and take all my products and teach them how to wrap set my hair. My hair was really lovely (I am may say so myself) After I had my second son my hair was like a weave long , full and lovely..I then decided to put in highlights , everyone warned my that it would cut my hair but I really didn’t care..as far as I was concerned even if I enjoyed it for 3 months it was worth it.. I rocked my highlights for almost a year before the effects of the constant colour began to show. After my dad passed in may I knew I was ready to start my hair again this time without chemicals. ‘

I did all the research I could on natchy hair, visited all the nappy hairsites I could lay my hands on, I even considered dreads (still may loc my hair, my poor mum will be heartbroken lol). I asked my girl lara how she had coped with her nappiness ‘ My sister its not easy oh, you will get lots of comments from people and its difficult to manage..oh and you always have to be well made up( oh no,..I don’t even have studiofix). She has since relaxed her hair.

Its been tough really I no go lie, but I am beginning to enjoy it, my hair is healthy and growing really well.i only visit the salon which specialises in braiding when I need to braid ,.(hurray! No more staying under the dryer monster).

The comments haven’t been too bad , infact must people love my hair, “you look so cool”.” I love those twists”.”is that your hair, wow it thought it was an afro weave, why don’t u just loc it”.. Last week I did single strand twists and got the funniest comment ever from Mr mayaki one of my silly colleagues..” Ahh chichi I don’t like this one oh, please change it..You look like a woman that is fighting with her husband” lol.My other colleague Mo almost collapses “Mr mayaki ! you are so bush, please don’t mind this local man your hair is really nice, oh so you’ve loced it?” I had to explain to her at least 3 times that week that they were not dreads, my other boss just saw me and smiled. I amy do dreads just looking for someone that can do em well..i tried one guy who had been recommended and I looked like a failed reggae artiste, so I am taking my time..Also want to be sure its want I really want cus once your hair locs it locs.

“ aunty this your hair dey pain hand oh” ah is natural hair more difficult to make? “yes oh aunty e dey pain hand wel well” ma binu oh. pele.
Have a slamming weekend !

ps..the hair turned out really nice, my girlfriend screamed "chioma fashi your dreads idea oh! this one fits u too much!

OOOOOh!

2007-03-22T03:57:00.000-07:00

Me i am tired of this househelp wahala oh! Well my new girl has been around for a few weeks and I am quite happy with her. She need no supervision and is very commited to her job. Lois (my old girl) is still around 'cus I want her to finish this term (she is in form 1).
I had pretty much decided i would send her home once she was done with her exams, until her dad called. Did I tell you she's from my town..pls abeg don't do village connections, we aren't related but have known her family for decades. Well the man got to hear about his daughter's crimes and called me to plead with me.

Papa lois: hello this is papa lois.I dont know why my daughter did such evil, pls I need to come and talk to her.
Me: Its ok you don't need to come(cus if u do i will just send you home with her and she won't finish her exams).
Papa lois: no I need to come to abuja and talk to her so she never does such again..I feel so bad and I dont want her to come home.Pls her mum is so ashamed and we are shocked at her behaviour
Me: don't worry sir I will come home with her after her exams.take care sir.
(Of course all this was said in Igbo)

Lois was nearby and started crying..pls ma I don't want to go home', don't send me home"
I felt bad immediately, just an hour before she was playing with my boys..they were so happy , they really like her.
As I was just thinking to myself maybe I should just leave this girl, my son nonso came out " mummy lois beat me, I did wee on my bed and she beat on my bum bum and said "pin your mouth"". Of course she denied it. The next day she asked if she could use liver to make spaghetti sauce..I found that strange cus we always use minced meat.I told her to use meat...much later after we had all eaten and the kids were in bed I saw some seasoned liver in the kitchen.

ME:lois whats this?
Lois: its some liver that fell out of the liver bag unto the freezer floor
Me: why didnt you put it back into the bag?
Lois: Em.. I just thought I should season it and keep it in the fridge

Now this went on for a while and of course her story made no sense. I know lois has "akpili ogologo" (long throat) she probably just wanted to eat liver that day. Why must she always lie stupidly.Its not like I will beat her or anything if she tells me the truth.You catch her sleeping and she lies that she wasn't sleeping, meanwhile her eyes have given her away. The other day I heard her saying "nonso come out of there with that your long mouth" and she lies saying no "I said nonso come out with that your mouth that you suck" (as if that sounds any better).

I dunno I feel really sorry for her, cus I know how poor her family is and she is doing really well in school. Even the new girl is feeling sorry for her, today she said told me she could put her in order if she misbehaves. I really want to help them, but I don't want her lying to rob off on my kids.already the new girl does most of the work in the house 'cus lois takes to much time to do hers". I am also scared that she may start beating my kids again once she gets comfortable.

Oh God help me!

Visa Wahala!

2007-03-20T07:10:00.001-07:00

We are suffering in this country oh! If you see the queues you go tire.I mean do people want to leave naija so badly.I have friends who are willing to pay up to $2000 for a UK or US visa.Infact its only in Naija that you hear people give testimony in church about getting visa.It can be espiecially trying when a husband or boyfriend is "stuck" in the UK or whichever country and the wife is stuck in naija.

I don't have any problems with getting visas my passport is full so I didn’t think getting a South African visa would be a problem. Really getting the actual visa wasn't a problem the visa officer just looked at my passport and gave me a time to come and pick my passport and visa later, however the wahala involved in getting into the embassy na wa.

My husband and I had been told to get to the embassy by 5am as they only attend to about 60 people. Well we got there at past five feeling very cute and by the time we found the “list” we were no 84. The guy with the list behaved like he was in charge and told us that we should wait as our number may go up since a few people on the list may not return. At six am a security guard started giving out tally numbers and stopped at sixty. Later we found out that the guy with the list was a tout and people who approached him were given higher numbers on the list for a fee. Another tout offered us yellow fever vaccination card for N2000 (we didn’t know we needed it). As we were about to buy it another applicant told us where the card was being officially issued for N200.

Anyway a series of fights broke out when the tout tore the list and when it was obvious that we couldn’t get in we decided to go back on Friday. We were told that people slept there to write their names so we should come earlier.

We got there at 4am on Friday and discovered that we were again too late. My husband made a few friends among some other applicants who had also been there the previous day so that whoever came early could write names for others on the “list’.

On Sunday night around 8pm one of the other applicants called my husband and told him the “list” was already out and that people had written up to 30 names. We rushed there and after the “list” holders (this time a fellow applicant and a policeman) released the list and we were number 41. By midnight sixty names had been compiled. All this for an embassy that opens at 9am. Once we were sure our names were on the authentic list we went to get some sleep, by 5:30am we were back to get our tally number. The security guard took his time and didn’t come out till 6:30am.

We soon got our numbers and left for work, mind you I had to get a friend to take my kids to school since dh and I were both keeping vigil at the embassy. By ten we went back to the embassy to get yet another tally number(the first one was just given to make their work easier) from the Embassy staff. At about one pm we entered the embassy and got our visas. Na wa! My husband exclaimed “after all this stress South Africa had better be worth it”.

Seriously why are so many Nigerians so desperate to leave Nigeria? I mean sleeping outside the embassy, paying thousands, getting deported and still going back? God help this Nation, give people opportunities and ideas so they can find fufillment in Naija,Please make Nigeria safe and improve our economy and infrasrtucture in Jesus name.Amen

For all the battered women.

2007-03-20T02:34:00.001-07:00

Happy Mothers day! I hope all the mums had a nice mother’s day this last Sunday. For you guys In North America I think it comes up in May but happy mothers day all the same.

Mine was nice, for some reason dh never remembers I am mother so I wasn't expecting anything from him, however my sister in law gave me a lovely gift. We spent the day with my mum and mother in law and of course they were happy to have their children around them. On Saturday I spent the day with my mum at her farm. It was a bit sad for me 'cus I know my dad would have loved to be there walking round the farm. It had been their retirement plan to own a farm. I was still happy to see how far my mum had come on her own, being on the farm is therapy for her. The chickens are almost ready and should be 3kg by Easter, her fish are also picking up.

On mothers day the Pastor's wife preached about women letting go and submitting to our husbands. As she said this I wondered how you can submit to a mad man. If your husband is decent and treats you well it’s easy enough but how can you submit to a man who abuses you in every imaginable way? Don’t get me wrong oh! I believe that you should submit to your husband even if he isn’t a good man. However not at the expense of your salvation and your life.

I am blessed to be married to a good man but my mind went to a lady I ran into last week. I will call her ebiere. Ebiere was my friend Tony's* wife. I met her just before their wedding and she excitedly told me how romantic Tony was." Tony send charters a cab to take me round town, and spoils me silly with sexy gifts...I am so happy" Ebiere even went back to school because of Tony.." he is so brilliant " she gushed " I want to be a lawyer like him".

However after a few months I began to see the cracks...you see they had been Catholic all this time when suddenly Tony said he wanted to return to the Seventh day Adventist where he grew up. Ebi didn’t understand because before they got married he told her he wasn't particular about church and would go anywhere she wanted. suddenly he was changing his mind. He told her to leave if she didn’t want to come to his church. She reluctantly agreed and said she had actually started to enjoy it. After a while I lost touch with Ebi and Tony and was taken aback by what she told me last week..

Me: “Long time! How is Tony ?"
Ebi:" we are not together anymore"
Me: "what do you mean, when, why?"
Ebi: "it’s been about a year oh"
Me: " ah but I saw Tony a few months ago and he didnt tell me anything, was it about church?"
Ebi: "how will he tell you shameless man. If na church matter I for stay now.. The man was beating me. I ended up in hospital about 6 times. My Siblings heard and came and packed my belonging"
Me: " tony beat..I can't believe it, what happened"
Ebi: " Tony na mad man, if I wear trouser e go beat me, if I talk e go beat me, if my family visit e go beat me"..haba see the stitches now(she showed me the stitches on her fore head) abeg I try for that man. After beating me e go give me money and buy me more gifts. replaced all the blood soaked clothes with new ones. He even beat me when I was i pregnant because i refused to eat the food he bought me"

(Mouth open wide)

Ebi: "Ah my sister na God save me .You know that your brother is a giant my doctor said he almost damaged my vital organs. The money comforted me for a while but my life is more precious than money".

I was suprised cus Tony the perfect gentleman was a monster all this time.

I hugged her and told her how sorry I was. I had no idea anything like that was going on. When her parents reported to his family they said they were not surprised as his brother (who raised him) had battered his late wife, they were however a bit shocked that he didn’t learn from that as he was especially close to his brother’s wife and often shielded her from his brother’s abuse.

Na wa! This is like the third wife battery story I have heard in the last six months.

I know a lot of our mothers stayed in abusive homes, and people ask why? Well many of them had no where to go. They had no education or/and money and they were not welcome back home, some were scared of the stigma attached to being a single mum. Many stayed because of you; they knew that if they left they would never see you again. If your mother went through this love her and make her feel safe and let her know no one will ever hurt her again.

If you are being battered now I aint talking about the one slap he gave you when you called him names (not that slapping is acceptable) but if he is BEATING you do yourself (and your children) a favour and walk out of that home (at least till the abusive behaviour stops). I am anti-divorce but do you want to die at the hands of a mad man? I only know of one man who beat his wife and has become a new man. Do you want your son to grow up seeing a man beat a woman and probably do the same himself? Do you want your daughter growing up in that kind of negative environment? Please go to your church and seek support. I know in naija it’s hard to get help but a few shelters exist in Nigeria for women who need help.

To all the baby mama’s HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

UPDATES

2007-03-13T03:35:00.001-07:00

Let me just update a bit.
On my househelp issue,a new girl(she came highly recommended) started last week, so far so good.She is a bit bush but with time she can be brushed up. i love the fact that she speaks igbo to my kids and seems very kind, even with the way she talks to them. after day 1 they had already warmed up to her. Now the old girl is still around because I wanted my kids to get used to this new lady first. The other girl will probably leave at the end of the month when her school term ends.

I also laid off the older nanny I had,nice lady but she had outlived her usefulness.I got her because my youngest was at home and now he goes to playgroup. She just comes to my house to eat and sleep and was beginning to feel like a madam in my house.Imagine her telling my husband that he should talk to me becasue I am spoiling the children.Two weeks ago I scolded her about something and she was like " eh aunty let me tell you my own oh.I want to be closing earlier oh, my husband is complaining" this is someone who doesnt even come on weekends and closes by 4 twice a week, plus once you scold her she has a scowl on the whole day and it even affects how she treats the kids.Anyway I pray this new girl lives up to my expectations.

I have a little dilenma, my younger son will be 2 in april and I don;t know what to do about his big brother (he is 3 and a half). how can i explain to him that its his brothers birthday without him wanting his own cake and present too?.

Talking about my younger son he is so funny, he is very quiet and pensive for his age..I mean he can talk but we hardly hear him talk. on the 9th I heard him sing "twinkle, twinkle little star" for the first time.I was so excited!

I entered fo a celtel contest where the star prize was a trip to seychelles.I didnt win but i am going to South Africa next month with dh (God willing). An organisation he works with is paying for his trip so I am tagging along. Its just for one week so that will be our honeymoon (after 5years) ! I am really looking forward to it, cus we just started having some peace after almost one month of serious matrimonial squabbles.

HAVE A BLESSED WEEK EVERYONE!

How fluently do you speak your mother tongue?

2007-03-09T01:52:00.000-08:00

I feel like a glutton. I weigh 74kg and its my heaviest ever and I have no idea how to loose it. When I was almost due with my first son I weighed about 72 so you can imagine how much I have added. I thought I was ok and just needed to loose my tummy..until I climbed my scale,,,Now I know it just aint a tummy matter..help?

I watched living in bondage yesterday. It was interesting to watch the first naija home movie. It was funny to see how archaic outfits from the early 90’s looked. Also, it interesting how the actors have all added a little weight and changed over the years. I also find it a bit sad that there are hardly any movies acted in Igbo anymore. You see the marketers of most Nigerian Movies(who are mostly Igbo traders) decided that acting films in English would be more profitable as it would appeal to a wider audience. Now though I understand that but why can’t there be some films in Igbo. A lot of Yoruba and Hausa films are still produced and are doing really well.
I just think my people (Ibo) have a complex; I mean we would rather speak English than our mother tongue. Its almost like we are ashamed of our origin. A Yoruba person will toast a babe in Yoruba but ndi igbo will say its razz. You can see a pure aje butter Yoruba person speaking fluently but my people ? even the one that can speak will form oyibo..My aunt was telling me how she saw a young ibo boy with his parents. She greeted the boy saying “kedu” (how are you) and the boy answered her saying my name is not kedu? This is a child born and raised in Nigeria.
Please Ndi Igbo lets be proud of our heritage. The other day a comedian was saying that Igbo people can’t say a sentence without putting a English word. Sad but true. Its only in Igbo land that you will see people greeting each other saying Good morn, Good aft or Good Efenin… (I just found out that good afternoon is osisioma; but who says that?). .
This is a wake up call .Igbo people; our language is dying; don’t allow anyone make you feel your language is inferior. I speak my language wherever its appropriate; and if people harass me I tell them to speak their own. I however think it is wrong when people start speaking one language when not everyone in the gathering understands it…as it could be rude. All Nigerians wake up too, it could happen to your language I have friends from Akwa Ibom who are purposely not speaking Ibibio to their kids; reason being that “I don’t want her to have an Ibibio accent’; hogwash ..My mum speaks fluent Igbo and Yoruba .and when you hear her speak English their not a drop of any ethnicity in it. I have friends from plateau who speak hausa but have no interest in their own language (Hausa is spoken generally in the North but only a small percentage of Northerners are actually hausa). Personally I think every Nigerian should speak their tribal language and have a little knowledge of others (at least be able to respond to how are you or say thank you in several Nigerian languages)
When I think of Welsh, Irish, Scottish and Latin; I think of dead languages don’t let the same happen to our beautiful mother tongues.
How many of us or/and our children can fluently speak our mother tongue?pls respond

Nigeria's next president and Vice president (Olorun Maje, Chukwu amankwe ihe ojo!)

2007-03-09T01:34:00.000-08:00

Hello, sorry about my long absence. My ogas at work have been on my case and I don’t have internet at home. Any how this is mainly directed at those of you in diaspora. Have you seen the fella's Obasanjo hand picked for President and V.President? let me look for some pictures of them....ok the guy on the far left is Umar Musa Yaradua. He is currently the Governor of Katsina State and the PDP's Presidential Candidate. This is a man who had no interest in the Presidential Race whatsoever but was nominated by the President barely two weeks to the PDP Convention. I say two weeks because thats when non stop adverts started running asking people to choose Yaradua as the PDP Presidential Candidate. It was serious propaganda; I mean the radio couldn't be on for more than 10 minutes without running a yaradua Ad. Billboards with the man's face appeared all over town. Next thing we knew IBB who was also a contender for the PDP ticket stepped down citing reasons that he couldn't contest against Yar'adua as he was like his younger brother (does that make sense?). A night to the convention, the Governors of Cross River, Rivers, Ebonyi, Nasarawa, Bauchi,Imo all stepped down to support Yara'dua( who are they kidding) so at that point it was clear that Yaradua was goint to win since the only remaining contenders were Rochas and Jerry Gana.
Who is Yaradua? people asked; no one had heard about the guy and as far as we knew his claim to fame was being the brother of the late Shehu Musa Yara'dua (the politician who died in detention, during Abacha's time).The late Shehu had worked with Obasanjo in the 70's and his brother Umaru had more or less been given the Governorship of Katsina state to compensate the family's great loss.

Why was he now being forced on PDP and on Nigeria? Simply because he can be controlled by Baba(Obasanjo). The other contenders were too strong willed to be controlled by puppet string. Yar'adua an unambitious guy will be an obedient child to baba and in effect will be a figure head and Baba will still be in control! Of course as far as PDP is concerned they are the only party in Nigeria therefore there candidate is Nigeria’s next President.
Rumour has it that the guy has serious health issues. Infact, he is in a German hospital at the moment being treated for an undisclosed ailment.

The other guy Jonathan Goodluck is the Governor of Bayelsa. Now the man is on cloud 9. He was the Deputy Governor of his state until his oga was impeached and he automatically became Governor. He was still basking in the euphoria of his new found status when Baba choose him to be Yara’dua’s running mate. This is a guy who is a notorious “donatus”.i.e doles out money freely to anyone for any reason, just write a proposal and part of the oil rich state’s money enters you hand. Meanwhile Bayelsans are still grappling in abject poverty.
As far as he is concerned he just has Good luck and makes corny jokes about how his name has brought him luck.

What really annoys me about Yaradua & Goodluck is that Baba Obasanjo is carrying about as if they are Nigeria’s next President and VP. Infact he has said that his party PDP will be in control and that this years elections are a “do or die affair” (imagine a president saying that). The truth is that we in Nigeria know that he has the machinery to rig elections so that even if no one votes for this lack lustre and colourless pair, they will still win.Also,he is ensuring that PDP governor candidates become governors in every State in Nigeria.It so depressing to think that Nigeria will be governed by figure heads people who have no plans for Nigeria, all they will do is implement Baba’s plans.

God has assured me that all will be well;
“Woe to those who plan iniquity, to those who plot evil on their beds!
At morning’s light they carry it out because it is in their power to do it.
They covet fields and seize them, and them, and houses, and take them.
They defraud a man of his home, fellow men of his inheritance.
Therefore the Lord says: “I am planning disaster against this people from which
you cannot save yourself…) Micah 2 :1-4.
The above happened to Abacha; Baba we don’t want the same to happen to you. You have done a decent job this last 8years; please don’t spoil your good name by forcing PDP down Nigeria’s throat. A word is enough for the wise

My first meme!

2007-02-23T00:57:00.000-08:00

1.What time did you get up this morning? Woke up 6.30am

2.Diamonds or pearls? I have pearls but would love diamonds?

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? 'Blood Diamond’ I think Leonardo interpreted his role pretty well.

4. What is your favorite TV show? Well right now I am loving prison break, have a huge crush on the guy who plays Michael Scofield (did you guys know he is mult-racial? His dad is half black)

5. What did you have for breakfast? Rice Krispies

6. What is your middle name: Nwamaka (what can I say my parents had never seen a more beautiful baby)

7. What is your favorite cuisine/meal? I love Chinese, I love food to much to have a favourite meal..

8. What foods do you dislike? … I said I LOVE FOOD!!.

9. Your favorite Potato chip? Walkers when I travel, but here I love emmy’s chips or any other well packaged pekere I can buy in traffic (there actually plaintain chips..but all in the same family)

10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? I am loving my naija mixed artistes cd.

11. What kind of car do you drive? Geo Prism

12. Favorite sandwich? Chicken &Tuna

13. What characteristics do you despise? Hypocrisy, Complaining, Lying, Cheating, Prejudice, Unfaithfulness, Disloyalty, Vanity, Self-importance, Intolerance, Being boring...

14. Favorite item of clothing? Blue jeans

15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Seychelles

16. What color is your bathroom? Light blue

17. Favorite brand of clothing? Can't pick one...

18. Where would you want to retire? Obodo Nigeria (I know I am bit razz)

19. Favorite time of day? Late at night

20. Where were you born? Military Hospital, Yaba, Lagos . There was a hospital strike when I was born so almost everyone born that month in lagos was born in a military hospital! Soldier man no dey strike!

21. Favorite sport(s) to watch? All them odd sports,ie strongest man, log rolling, ballroom dancing and I am trying to enjoy football as my husband is a football addict.

22. Who do you least expect to respond to this? No idea.

23. Person you expect to respond first? I don’t know, I guess a lot of people have done this one

24. What laundry scent do you use? I dey use Ariel or B29 has a vague scent.?

25. Coke or Pepsi? I don’t like soda/soft drinks at all.

26. Are you a morning person or night owl? Night and morning…which is carzy I love being awake at night watching movies and stuff..but I have to wake up early to get the kids ready for school.

27. What size shoe do you wear? 41(UK) or 11 (US) I can never find my size at home or on sale..frustrating..and of course all the cute shoes don’t come in big sizes.

28. Do you have pets? No,..because I can’t get the dog I want right now (Labrador).

29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? I may be going on trip to Seychelles.

30. What did you want to be when you were little? A singer, ...

31. Favorite Candy Bar? Crunchie

32. What is your best childhood memory? I loved being a child…had a loving secure setting. I remember I didn’t like going to school and would always lie I was sick, of course my mum knew it was all an act. Well one day I said I was sick and mummy surprisingly tucked me in. However, I didn’t know there was a funfair in school that day (my older brother used to get all the letters from school). My mum let me stay home feigning illness and my brothers came back telling me how I had missed all the fun and food at school ,needless to say that was the last time I said I was sick!

33. What are the different jobs you have had in your life? Receptionist, Program Co-ordinator, Political Dept Assistant, Lawyer, Policy Officer

34. What color/type underwear are you? Normal Briefs Black/Blue; Boy's shorts

35.Nicknames: girlie, the girl, (was the first girl),chamma, chi, chioma cat (hated it) chiomski, chiommy I plead the Fifth.

36. Piercings ? Three, but use only two on each ear

37. Eye color? Dark brown

38. Ever been to Africa? Africa is home.

39. Ever been toilet papering or rolling? No..

40. Love someone so much it made you cry? Mmmm..romantic love no..

41. Been in a car accident? No.

42. Croutons or bacon bits? Croutons can’t understand the idea behind bacon bits

43.Favorite day of the week? Saturday

44. Favorite restaurant? Chop Sticks.

45. Favorite flower? Roses.

46. Favorite ice cream? Yoghurt

47. Favourite drink? Water

48. Favorite fast food restaurant? SFC

49. What color is your bedroom carpet? Blue and Cream!

50. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Didn’t do a test in naija but for my texas license failed it once.

51. Before this one, from whom did you get your last email? From blogger

52. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Ross (My husband calls me cheapie)

53. What do you do most often when you are bored? Read and watch movies, and clean my room

54. Bedtime? Early hours of the morning

55. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire? Anyone and everyone

56. Last person you went to dinner with? My wonderful self

57. What do you want to be remembered for? Touching lives positively

58. What are you listening to right now? Carribean Queen by Billy Ocean

59. What is your favorite color? Green

60. Lake, Ocean or river? The ocean, mostly because of the way the waves come rolling onto the beach

61. How many tattoos do you have? None.

62. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken, haven’t y’all read the creation story?
ps..those of you in naija should please please vote for me text ph5w to 33059 using a celtel phone.if you don't use celtel please tell a friend that does.If I win a get an all expense paid trip to seychelles with my husband. There are just 9 finalists wrestling for the prize..if I win it will be a dream come true, cus when i got married 5years ago I wanted us to go for our honeymoon in seychelles but we couldn't afford it. Thanks fellow bloggers

Lagos na wa!

2007-01-22T06:21:00.000-08:00

There was a book a came across once titled "Lagos Na Wa! I swear" now as a young teenager(and even as and adult) I had no business reading that book.It chronicled the sex lives of some lagos people and it was quite raunchy.

Now my post has nothing to do with that book, but it has to do with my recent trip to lagos. I grew up in lagos and though i am from Anambra State I consider Eko(Lagos) my home. Most of cherished memories are there..my first kiss as a 3yr old in the garden (I am sure the silly boy doesn't even remember me).My 5th year birthday party, which was da bomb! and over 20years of growing up I can't even begin to go through.

I had a great childhood and just being in Lagos brings tears to my eyes. I went with my kids so they could see where I grew up. My sister still lives in the house we grew up in and it when i went there it was so emotional..I saw the books we read as kids, went to my dads room and saw an envelope with the words (chioma's baby teeth)..and sure enough two of my teeth were in there. That really choked me up..thats my dadda!(of blessed memory) so organised and paid attention to every little detail. I found the two metal handpainted elephants that I had played with as a child...who would have thought that two rusty elephants could cause so much joy!

We lived right across from Ikoyi Club and a few of the people who hawked stuff around there still remembered me.I could tell they were suprised to see me all grown up with children in tow.

I stayed with my cousin in lekki because i figured the kids would have fun with her daughter and my cousin would have more time for me. Apart from that I just coudn't bring my self to stay in my house without my dad. Lekki was fun, people in lagos definetly have a more active social life than us Abuja people. It was from one wedding or birthday party to another. I went to palms and was going round like one village girl..I mean the only malls i have seen are in the States so I was a bit taken aback. Even the way lagos people greet..Mwah ..Mwah( the double cheek kiss)"you look great dahlinng!" na wa Oh! and the fashion!...in Abuja you don't need to do to much to be a babe..in lagos they have diferent categories of babes, but everyone is a babe!.

I hadn't been to lagos in a few years so i was so happy to be home I drove past my primary school (St. Saviour's, ikoyi) and tried to negotitate my way round streets.I was just gawking as I saw familiar and unfamiliar sights.

I could not believe how much I had missed lagos. I was in no hurry to go back home. I missed been able to buy just about everything in the traffic, I missed all the water (my kids coudn't believe all the water and bridges). I missed tej and balogun and being able to find unlimited varieties of different products(In Abuja getting the right weave is even a problem). I missed my friends and family (A lot of people i didnt see are still fighting with me).I missed ghana high food. I missed double 4 pizza (still think they make the best pizza). I missed Awolowo road( That was my major joint!) and I missed my dad more than I usually do.

There are a few things I didnt miss...the traffic! It was crazy as usual. my friend got married while i was there and the traffic to her wedding was something else. At a point i just got down and started walking cus cars were not moving. Thats the thing about Lagos one major event can paralyse movement for miles around. In Abuja no matter whats going on only the immediate area will be affected. The mosqitoes!..ridiculous!my kids looked like they were recovering from chickn pox, as they had spots all over. The light! .. they take light in Abuja but what I experienced was too bad...I don;t have a generator and its ok..in lagos living without a generator is suffer head.

Its been a while since I got back to Abuja and my holiday has long been over...but I still think of Lagos with a twinkle in my eye.

2007 ! My Year of Power and Glory!..(and my year of no househelp issues)

2007-01-22T01:48:00.000-08:00

Now i know this is long overdue, its been a while since i have had internet access so y'all should forgive me. I think this is going to be a great year for us all..Amen!

The thing is I dont even know what to write about, now let me think...oh I know... MY HOUSHELP.

You know how it is, once you have kids this househelp or nanny issue always comes up. I have heard so many horror stories, like one friend whose 3year old son was being sexually abused by her 14yr old help or another one who poured acid on her madam. How about my friend who found out that her husbands relative who lived with them was a pimp and prostitute? or the one who uses the water she washes her undies in to wash their sons plate or puts it in the family meal?

Me I am tired of househelp drama, when I had my first son my mum-in-law got me someone. Nwanne claimed to be 18 but I guessed she would be 21, however she was actually 26 (my age at the time). I really didnt care about her age as long as she behaved. She was quite good, hardworking and smart, and she was great with my son.
After 18months i was due to have another baby so travelled out with my older son. I enrolled nwanne in catering school and when I returned 3months later I met a different person. She obviously had met people who told her she was too fine to be a help.

Anyway as soon as I got back she told me she wanted to leave, she explained she wanted to go to school and her brother had offered to train her. I knew it was a lie, if she had a brother who could take care of her and send her to school why would she be a houshelp? At that point I was ready to let her go, but because she was so dilligent my husband suggested we send her to school instead.

She went to school for 6months and then at christmas told me she wanted to go home for 2 weeks. No problem only that instead of going home she stayed in abuja and my friend spotted her in the market the next day looking like a whore. So that was how nwanne left.

It was tough with two little kids...my goodness that girl really spoilt me ..I was a mess!

After that I got a 12 year old who i sent home the next day ... I wasnt ready to be a mother of a pre teen ...I mean a 12 year old(who looks and behaves 9)cant look after your kids.

I then got a girl from the north who stayed 3 days and then decided my kids cried too much and left... At that point I was so frustrated.

So I just chilled until my aunt brought in lois. Nice girl but lazy as hell..and boy can she lie!
She been with me about a year and i am thinking of sending her away why?I just found out through my cousin who came on hols that:

shes been beating my kids..she beats(not smackls but beats viciously) the 3yrold with slippers or her knuckles for not wearing his pants properly or some other stupid reason, and the 18moth old for pooping in his diapers.
My neighbour told me she saw her beating my 3year old one night
She brings out the beast in me I have beat her several times over lies she tells
she watches movies all day and then tells my son to lie that they have been watching cartoon network when I get home or she will beat him.
She lies all the time, even denied the beating the kids until she saw she couldnt bully my cousin into retracting what she saw.
I buy her stuff and she complains how she gets cheap ugly stuff while all my kids stuff are nice things my relatives in the states sends.(this is a girl who came with 3 clothes , which have been turned into rags and 3 sizes too small...now she has a big ghana-must-go bag of clothes).
She eats my kids food and tells them to come and ask me for SFc (our own KFC) so she can scrounge them, meanwhile whatever i buy these kids I buy for her o! I let her eat whatever she wants..infact my aunt who brought her was amazed at how much weight she had put on.
She is sooo lazy! always watching TV and expects so much from me..meanwhile I send her to school and take care of her every need and more!..

What do y'all think should I send her away or am I being petty..she has begged that she will change..maybe she will never beat the kids again (maybe) but I dont think she can change her lazy ways.. I have a houskeeper who comes in and;

bathes the kids
cleans the house
washes their clothes
prepares their lunch.
and goes to market

so you see all the girl does is stay with the kids if we go out at night ,weekends helps in the kitchen and runs errands, and makes me shout a lot!

I need your advice, cus I need peace this year!

Jesus Take the wheel!

2006-11-24T02:05:00.000-08:00

I almost had an accident recently. Anyone who know Abuja know how wide and smooth our roads are. Anyone hwo know Abuja also know how reckless and inexperienced our drivers our.

I had right of way and was on my way to church, when one silly man though he could make a fast one and we almost collided. I swerved to avoid him and almost hit a light pole. It was just God that stopped me from hitting that man or the pole. God just took over cus i had already braced myself for an accident. The jolt startled my kids, thankfully I had started using my car seat so the younger one didint even know anything happened.

When the man pulled over he starting by saying "but madam i trafficated" ..I had to resist the urge to strangle him. A passerby admonished hime, saying he had seen what happened and that the man should just thank God and apologise to me..I mean where was the man hurrying to?

I just thank God for taking over and saving me and my family from what would have been a terrible accident.

Gluttony!

2006-11-24T01:34:00.001-08:00

I hardly slept last night! It was not my cus of my kids or my hhusband..but due to greed!.

I went to dinner with my husband and it was an "eat all u can eat" buffet. I over took fish,chicken,cow leg, pasta, potato salad, soup and for dessert..it was a plate of creme caramel and several other sweets....too much!

Well I spent the night getting rid of all the deadly toxins i had accumulated over the course of the evening. I think I have learned my lesson and will take it easy next time.

Talking bout my hair!

2006-11-16T04:04:00.000-08:00

I can so relate to india aries song about hair. Right now I have natchy (nappy hair) and i'm lovin it! My camcorder is actin up so can't show u any pics right now... As a child i had one of them big thick afros, i had so much hair!
I remember I went to a school which was full of expats (St Saviour's Ikoyi) and we had to act this nativity play one christmas. I was the only black angels and my co-angels were not too happy to have me as an angel..why? well because according to one of them (in a brit accent) "u can't be an angel , you don't have hair like an angel, but we(referring to herself and the other oyibo) do" I was really upset and went crying to my mum who had come to watch the play and was stopped by some oyinbo parents who told me how lovely my packed afro was...well that gave me some confidence and I went backstage and prepared for a wonderful performance.
I have the kind of mum who always beleived that you could not get a relaxer till you were university (just kidding) actually she didnt allow her sister get a perm till she was in uni, with me i got a blow out in secondary school and a full perm while I was still in secondary school. I have 3 younger sisters and with each one the age limit for getting a perm was reduced..by the time it got to the youngest she had permed her in primary one!
When i got into uni and started doing million braids my hair had lost is shine,length and lustre and i had serious "mama iyabo" so i chopped it off!..my mum had a fit .."what happened to your beautiful hair?' she moaned " it was so lovely when i was looking after it" ..I had baby curls till it grew and enjoyed full ,long and lovely relaxed hair for some years.. Infact at a stage people started asking if my hair was a weave and if I was mixed and all of that..especially after i had my babies..men! I felt like a model...
Then the model feling went to my head and i went and got some reddish highlights...I knew my hair would break but i didnt care and i enjoyed all the attention while it lasted....
Alas! my hair did break but I rocked the highlights for almost a year so i didnt care... I wanted to cut my hair but my husband said NO..
MY wonderful father passed on in may (boy do i miss him) I cut my hair not because I had too (its not really done anymore)but i wanted to cut my hair for something..not just because it wasn;t full anymore ..I wanted a better reason..so I cut my hair after I lost my daddy.
Its growing now i have twists and braid once in a while..my mum thinks i am crazy my mum-in-law is sure i'm crazy, but I am lovin my hair!...

Raising boys!

2006-11-14T14:16:00.000-08:00

My boys bring me alot of joy, but they sure are a handfull!..the thing about having boys abck to back is that they become partners in crime. They aid and abet each other in commiting crimes of naugtiness.
Nonso is 3 and Mel is 19mths and they love each other to bits. They jump off tables, and generally wreck havoc together. They love each other to bits and its so wonderful to see them hug when they see each other after school.
Right now my househelp is ill so i am doing " obodo oyibo" style..(u know how it is abroad hardly any help) and because the husband is thorougly spoilt i hardly get any help from him (sigh)..Anyway its a mothers joy and i know i am extremely blessed to have my boys!

Moving Wahala!

2006-11-11T11:52:00.000-08:00

This is really the first time i have moved and it has been rough , so much to do! My husband has the NGO called LILFELINE (they provide free emergency services for accident victims). We had a charity walk today and i couldn't get anything appropriate to wear cus my stuff is upside down. the walk went well though about 6km
Also we have no internet in this new place so I can blog as often as I would love to.. Anyway I Thank God for my new home so I can't complain..Bye..

Moving on up!

2006-11-04T20:26:00.000-08:00

Who remebers that sit com "moving on up" think the theme song goes something like" ... bought a big house in the city.."

Well our hous aint exactly big but its just been bought and we moving in this weekend. I have been looking forward to moving in with excitement and a bit of fear..fear? Yep, I have been scared of all the work moving involves, the kids of course are always in the way.

I thank God for his mercies because without him, we would be looking for another rented apartment instead of our own home. God is good!

Culture Shock!

2006-11-03T16:45:00.000-08:00

Baba na wa for you! Culture and Tourism in Nigeria has just received a negative jolt.I mean how can Baba (Obasanjo) send borisade to culture and tourism . Once again this administration has shown its unseriousness about tourism. I can almost guarantee that with borisade at the helm of affairs its the beginning of the end of Tourism (which is already not doing well) in Nigeria.

People have been asking why there have been so many calls for borisade's resignation...well its because the guy is inept! He may not have caused the air crashes (actually, he just may have) but one thing is for sure..his inexperience is indirectly responsible for some of these crashes, and the amount of casualties. In the recent ADC case he gave a conference on the day after the crash and kept on referring to ADC as ADA (how daft) and heaped all the blame on the pilot even going as far as saying the pilot was a rude and disobedient pilot

He claimed that the pilot had disobeyed the Air Traffic Controller who had warned him about the winds.This according to aviation experts is hogwash as it is the normal practice for pilots to exercise their discretion when flying i.e. if the ATC says the weather is bad the pilot can decide for himself whether he can go ahead or not. The ATC however has the right to close the airport if he feels the weather is too bad.

It will be noted that since borisade came into power the airports have never been closed, no matter how bad the weather is. If borisade was doing his job he would have noted this (especially after the sosoliso crash which was attributed to poor weather) and called the ATC to order or made sure they knew their powers and responsibilities.

Borisade does not need to carry his bad luck to another ministry, he messed up education, avaition and now culture is next. We all know he is close to Baba but this closeness should not be at the expense of Nigeria.

Anambra State and its Wahala!

2006-11-03T13:02:00.000-08:00

I have almost given up on my beloved state...why? because they is hardly anything to love about it..(well except, that its the home of my forefathers and when i get to my home town it does feel like home).

I mean the roads are unbelievably bad,its highly undeveloped,security is poor and its boring! However my main grouse with my home state is our its inability to produce good Governors. This is amazing when one realises this same state has produced so many talented leaders in different spheres. However when it comes to the all important task of governing the State we have had nothing but bad luck.

I will assume that anyone reading this knows our Political History and I won't bore you. The latest turn of events is however most disheartening. Peter Obi an astute business man of repute has been our Governor for about 7 months and now because he didnt share government money with some people he has been impeached. Its even more upsetting that lawyers who are meant to be noble are being used to perpetuate this anomaly.It is also annoying that his Deputy Governor (a very lovely lady) has been pressurised (more or less) to be the Governor, I wish the woman had maintained her integrity and refused to be sworn in. Anyway let me not yap her since i don't know her reasons.

I however take solace in the fact that God is on throne and that the uncouth speaker called Balonwu was not sworn in as Governor.

Please let us all Pray for our State, and if you aren't from Anambra please we still need your prayers.

Borisade Resign!

2006-11-01T02:06:00.001-08:00

Borisade is our Minister of Aviation. I have nothing against him but his track record is terrible. When he was in education his ineptitude was clear, in Aviation it is even worse.
There have been 5 accidents this year, not beacause our pilots are bad or are planes are old, but because some people are not doing there job. There was an accident on sunday and like most air disasters it was ghastly.
Instead of finding out what happened the minister hastily heaped blame for the disaster on the pilot.
When the weather is bad the airport should be closed, this was not done..instead Borisade had accussed the pilot of failing to heed the advice of the Air Traffic Control (ATC) of the Nnamdi Azikiwe International Airport not to fly immediately because of bad weather.
The main has no ethics and should do the honourable thing by resigning..
I will be back to say more on this disaster

One crash too many.

2006-10-29T12:29:00.000-08:00

There was another crash today..the fifth in one year.
Its kind of confusing, is it a sign of the end or is it that nigerian airlines are just plain irresponsible?

Already a number of my friends have stopped using commercial airlines within nigeria. However a majority of airline users have no choice and must continue to fly.

My heart goes out to all those who lost their loved ones in the ADC crash today. Its kind of ironic that this crash occured almost 1 year after the ghastly bellview flight which claimed the lives of all its occupants.

God please have mercy an help us solve this problem.